We Have The Summer
by lovelovelove22
Summary: Edward is a fireman from Forks, Bella is a ballet dancer headed for Juilliard. In a world where no one believes they can be together, how can they make it through their summer together?
1. Chapter 1

**I had to get this story started, since my husband and I are taking our daughter on her first mini-vacation on Friday. We're going to be visiting my in-laws all week, so I won't have the chance to update this story or any of my other ones. So if you like the story, please leave a review and put it on alert so you'll get the chapter when I update sometime after I get home!**

**The story has been in my head for a few weeks…I've read stories with fireman Edward, so I'm trying to make this one different. It's going to have plenty of sweet, fluffy moments, but later on there will be some angst.**

**Enjoy!**

…

EPOV

I still remember the first time I laid eyes on Isabella Swan. It had been a long year ago, when I had first started at the fire station.

…

"_Well, Edward, we're glad to have you." Chief Swan said, but before I could say anything in return, the door to his office opened. A slender girl with long brown hair and pale skin walked into the room, her eyes on the ground. When she glanced up at me, my heart nearly stopped beating. She had the most beautiful brown eyes I had ever seen._

"_Sorry." She said at once, glancing towards her father and setting a set of keys down on his desk. "I'm done with the car." _

"_It's okay, hon. Edward, this is my daughter Isabella. Isabella, this is Edward. He'll be starting next week." Charlie introduced us, and a little pink blush appeared on her pale cheeks. She smiled at me, nodding her head slightly before hurrying out of the room and closing the door behind her. "She just got back from a college interview…she wants to go to Juilliard." Charlie explained, and I raised my eyebrows slightly at the mention of the famous arts school. "She's a ballet dancer, and her teacher says she has amazing potential." Charlie added proudly, a big smile on his face._

_I knew right then and there that Isabella Swan was special._

…

But in the past year, I've hardly seen her. Chief Swan didn't like her hanging around the fire station, and I never saw her around town. She had dropped by before, but only briefly and we've never spoken. I'm hung up on a girl that I've never even spoken to. I shook my head slightly, running my hands through my short hair. I thought about her all the time, even though there was very little I knew about her.

She was born in September, and three months out of the year she goes to New York City to spend the whole summer with her mother, who divorced Chief Swan when Isabella was little. She's beautiful, and she's got the sweetest voice I've ever heard. And she's a ballet dancer, and supposedly a damn good one at that. That's all the information I've been able to piece together about her, especially since I'm sure Chief Swan wouldn't appreciate a twenty year old asking around about his seventeen year old daughter.

Suddenly, I looked up and saw Isabella standing right in front of me, wearing shorts and a tee shirt and looking absolutely stunning. "Hi." She said, smiling slightly at me. "Is my dad around?"

I fumbled around with my words for a second, and then nodded my head. "Uh, yeah, he's in his office." I managed.

"Okay, thanks." Isabella nodded her head, waving slightly at me before turning around and heading in the direction of Chief Swan's office. I groaned and exhaled loudly through my nose, mentally berating myself for being so goddamn stupid.

"_Not _a good idea." I turned around to see Emmet McCarty approaching me, shaking his hand.

"What are you talking about?" I asked irritably

Emmet just continued to shake his head, a smile on his face. "She's off limits, Edward. Come on, even I know that would be a completely stupid idea…she's the Chiefs only daughter. His pride and joy. And he wouldn't be very happy if he found out that you want her." Emmet said easily, elbowing me. "Plus, she's only seventeen years old." He added.

"Fuck you." I snapped. "What do you know?" Emmet laughed, shrugging his shoulders and walking away.

"My mistake, then," He called over his shoulder. He was still laughing.

I watched him walk off, and my shoulders slumped. He was right. Chief Swan would have my head if he ever found out. But that didn't matter, because there was no way I was ever going to let anybody else find out about this.

Besides, I wasn't exactly the best person for her. Sure, plenty of firemen had wives and families, but I couldn't see that for myself. I couldn't see myself putting someone I loved in that position- having to deal with the fact that my life was in danger every time I walked out of the house to do my job. Trying to get out of my own head, I headed towards the kitchen to make myself something to eat. As I walked past Chief Swan's office, the door opened and Isabella came out, but was startled and tripped over her own feet.

Instinctively, I reached out and grabbed a hold of her to keep her from falling. When I did, our eyes met and I shivered slightly. "I thought ballet dancers were supposed to be graceful." I said after I managed to find my voice. Isabella blushed as I helped her to her feet.

"Only when we've actually got the leotards and shoes on." She said playfully, although there was still a blush on her cheeks.

I laughed, and then noticed that she must have skinned her knee when she fell, because it was bleeding. "You hurt your knee." I said, and Isabella glanced down and winced, pursing her plump lips.

"I hate blood." She said, immediately looking away.

"Here, I'll get you a band-aid or something." I offered. "I think there are some in the kitchen." Isabella nodded, following me into the kitchen. Luckily, no one else was there. "Um, here, sit up there." I said, patting the countertop and then turning around to rifle through the drawer that usually held the band-aids. When I finally managed to find one, I turned around and Isabella was sitting up on the counter, her knee oozing more blood and her eyes squeezed shut. "Are you okay?" I asked, concerned.

She nodded, not opening her eyes. "I _really_ hate blood." She said through her clenched teeth.

I quickly placed the band-aid on her knee, pressing it down firmly. "All gone." I said, and Isabella finally peeked her eyes open. She exhaled with relief, smiling shyly at me.

"Thank you." She said, and I just smiled back. We just looked at each other for a moment, and then I cleared my throat and spoke up.

"So, are you going to college soon?" I asked, changing the subject.

Isabella nodded enthusiastically, swinging her feet back in forth. "Yep, I leave for New York on next week, on August tenth, and then I'm going to spend some time with my mom until I start school on the twenty third. I'm really excited…but I'm also scared, though. The competition is going to be tough."

"Everyone says you're the best." I said quietly.

She blushed, looking at me with her wide brown eyes. "Thank you." She murmured. "But even if I am the best _here_, that doesn't mean I'll be the best at Juilliard. The school is filled with the most talented kids in the country, and the dance program is extremely competitive. Therefore, I'm terrified." Isabella said with a weak laugh.

I gently put my hand on her knee, giving her a reassuring smile. "I'm sure you'll be amazing." I murmured.

Isabella stared at me, the blush spreading further across her face. "Thank you." She said again. "Now…let's talk about _you_. If you don't mind, that is."

"It's fine. Ask me whatever you want." I said, sitting next to her on the kitchen counter.

"Okay…how old are you?" She asked.

"Easy one…I just turned twenty in June. How old are you?" I questioned.

Isabella raised her eyebrows at me. "First of all…I thought _I _got to ask the questions. But to answer yours, I'm seventeen, and I'll turn eighteen in September. I should still be in high school, but I skipped a grade." She explained. "Okay, now you again…" She paused for a moment, thinking. "Do you have a girlfriend?" She finally asked, and her voice was quiet and timid.

I looked over at Isabella, and her face was bright red and she was avoiding my gaze. "No." I said softly. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

She bit her lower lip and looked up at me. "No." She whispered, and then she inched a little closer to me. All I could see were her big brown eyes, and that made me want to kiss her. But I didn't. I couldn't. Luckily, before I could do the wrong thing, I heard footsteps approaching. I casually slide off the counter and went to throw away the band-aid wrapper just as Chief Swan walked into the kitchen.

"Isabella, what are you still doing here?" He asked, frowning slightly.

"Oh, I just skinned my knee and Edward was, um, getting me a band-aid." Isabella explained, sliding off of the counter and walking to her father's side. "I've got to get going now, though. I'll be at the studio until six." She kissed his cheek, and then hurried out of the room, looking over her shoulder at me with a blush still on her cheeks.

I walked her go, and then Chief Swan cleared his throat. "She's seventeen, Edward. Don't make this hard for any of us."

"I know." I said in a low voice, and then left the room.

…

**Well, there goes the first chapter. And I'm going to tell you this now- yes, Edward and Bella will end up together in the end. And they'll be just about the cutest couple you've ever read about.**

**Please review!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, thanks for the reviews. This early update is your reward! I'm so glad you like the story so far. We get some more Edward/Bella cuteness in this chapter, as well as some nicknames my husband and his friends came up with. Again, I won't be updating for about a week after this, but then there will be some more chapters.**

**Don't give up hope on Edward and Bella this story, no matter what. Through troubled times and angst, they belong together. HEA all the way!**

…

EPOV, the Next Day:

I walked into the diner after I got off my shift at the station, feeling tired and sooty and hungry. And when I walked in the door, I ran right into Isabella.

"Edward!" She exclaimed, and I chuckled softly when I saw that trademark blush on her face.

"Isabella." I said with a smile, and then moved out of the way slightly so she could pass. But she didn't.

She shifted around for a second, looking down at the to-go cup of coffee in her hands. "Are you getting something to eat?" She asked. I nodded, and Isabella looked up at me through her thick eyelashes. "Would you mind if sit with you? I was going to go home and eat by myself, but-"

"Yeah, it's fine." I said quickly. She smiled at me and ducked her head as we walked towards the back of the diner and slid into a booth. "I…uh, really liked talking to you yesterday." I said honestly. Bella giggled and looked me in the eye, her face still bright red and her brown eyes sparkling.

"I liked it too." She murmured shyly, and then practically buried her face in her menu.

By the time the waitress came and took our orders, we were laughing and talking and joking around.

"You smell like smoke." Bella said, taking a small bite of her hamburger.

"Sorry." I said immediately. "I just got off from the station…I didn't shower or anything." I explained.

Isabella chuckled, taking a bite of her french fry. "I don't mind. I'm used to it. You know, with my dad." She said quickly. And then she laughed again, winking at me. "I'm going to call you Smokey. Like the bear."

I rolled my eyes, taking a drink of my soda. "Fine. Then I'll call you…" I hesitated for a moment, racking my name for a good nickname. "I don't know, but I'll think of something." I relented, making Isabella laugh loudly and slap her hand on the tabletop.

"Sunshine. You can call me Sunshine." Isabella said decidedly, and I crinkled my eyebrows at her.

"Sunshine?" I asked, and Isabella laughed.

"Yeah. Usually when people give me a nickname, they just stick with _Bella_. I want to be called something fun, like Sunshine." She explained. "But you can call me Bella, too." She added. "Like…in front of my dad and stuff."

I nodded, silence overcoming me. Finally, I spoke up. "I…I like you." I finally. "But you're seventeen. And the Chief would probably murder me." I said. Bella nodded, biting. "But I do like you, Sunshine. Really." She just nodded again, and I exhaled loudly. "When you're eighteen, we can see how it goes." I finally decided, and Bella cracked a smile.

"I like you too. I thought you were cute the first time I saw you…a year ago." Bella admitted. And then she poked around at her food, not looking at me. "And now, things are going to be complicated. I'm going to college in New York City, and you'll be here in Forks."

"You'll be home to visit sometimes." I pointed out, and Bella nodded solemnly, looking at me with her wide eyes before cracking a smile. We finished our meal, and then we were unsure of what to do with ourselves. So we walked to the nearby park, which was deserted thanks to the fact that it was almost nine o'clock at night. The only sources of light were the moon and the few streetlamps around the small park.

Bella sat down on one of the swings, kicking her feet into the earth and looking around. "No one else is here." She said. "You could kiss me…if you want." Even in the faint darkness, I could see that her cheeks were bright red once again.

"Okay, Sunshine." I said, and then walked over to the swing. I grabbed the chains with my hands, making the swing stop. I stood in front of Bella, smiling down at her. I reached down and grabbed her hands, twining our fingers together and pulling her up so that she was standing. She stood against me, bright red and smiling shyly as she looked at me.

I leaned down and pressed my forehead against hers. "I want you to know that I'm not messing around with this. I like you, I'm not just…"

"I know." Bella interrupted me. "Me too." We continued to smile at each other, and then I leaned down and briefly brushed my lips against hers. Bella put her arms around my neck and I moved my hands to her waist, deepening the kiss. Her mouth was soft and warm against mine, and her teeth nipped at my lip gently as we continued to kiss. Eventually we both pulled away for breath, and I again pressed my forehead to hers. "That was my first kiss." Bella whispered, and I reached my hands up, cupping her face and rubbing my thumbs across her cheekbones.

"I couldn't tell." I assured her.

Bella giggled, pressing her face against my chest and running her hands up and down my arms. "It was a really good kiss. At least I thought it was."

"It was." I assured her, holding her against me as we both stood there, unmoving and rooted to the spot. "You leave in a week." I added. Bella nodded, but she didn't say anything. "When will you be back?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. Maybe Thanksgiving or Christmas. Maybe Spring Break. I haven't really thought about it. I'll figure it out though, I promise. And I'll be back." Bella murmured. She reached down and took my hand between both of hers, kissing my knuckles. "I'll miss you, Smokey."

Nodding, I leaned down and kissed her again. "I'll miss you too, Sunshine."

She continued to hold my hand, her fingers meshing with mine. Eventually, she looked at my watch and frowned. "It's almost ten…and I have to wake up early in the morning. I should go."

I took a small step back, but not before kissing her one last time. "I'll see you soon, Sunshine." I promised.

Bella backed away from me slowly, a sultry smile on her face. "Not if I see you first, Smokey." She teased. And then she blew me a kiss and ran off, her long hair flowing behind her in the breeze.

…

One Week Later:

"Will you keep in touch?" Bella asked, looking down to our joined hands.

"Yes." I murmured, and Bella brightened noticeably.

The smile on her face was beautiful. "I'll write you." She promised. "And I'll email. And text. And call. Wait…" She paused, laughing quietly. "I don't even have your phone number. Or your address."

"We can fix that." I assured her, and Bella reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. I took it from her and quickly plugged in my phone number. "There." I murmured, placing the phone back in her soft, warm hand. As my skin met hers, there was a jolt of electricity between us that made both Bella and I jump slightly. "You'll have to tell me all about Juilliard." I instructed her. "Call me when you get there, please."

Bella agreed, and then glanced at her watch. "My dad is probably ready to drive me to the airport. I have to go…but I don't want to."

"I don't want you to either, but you have to." I reminded her. "Bye, Sunshine." I whispered, kissing her and holding her against me.

"Bye, Smokey." She managed to say, but there were tears in her eyes. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"Me too." I promised, and I had to kiss her again before she walked away.

…

**The 'We Have The Summer' part is coming up…the next chapters skims through the months of separation from both POV's. Again, thanks so much for your interest and reviews!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie **


	3. Chapter 3

**Another early update, just because you guys are so amazing. I'll miss writing when I'm gone, though. So we get to have our first dose of BPOV in this chapter, and in the next couple of chapters we'll skim over the first months of Edward and Bella's separation. I'm warning you, there is some Jacob coming up, and he's a bit of a threat for their relationship. But Edward and Bella are going to be the cutesy, romantic, and cheesy couple we love in the end.**

**My month old daughter has a Twilight bib on right now. It's making me laugh as I feed her and type this at the same time.**

…

BPOV- August 10, 2010, Washington:

I rested my forehead against the window of my dad's car, looking out but not really seeing anything. I missed Edward, and it had only been an hour. It was ridiculous, because I had just started hanging out with him, but I felt so connected to him already. He was the sweetest person I had ever met, and the funniest and the most handsome. I sighed quietly and clenched my cell phone in my hand, willing myself not to text him. Of course, I couldn't contain myself, not when it came to Edward.

_I don't think I want to go anymore. –Sunshine._

While I waited for his reply I rested my forehead against the cool glass of the window again, taking in the passing scenery this time. Only a minute later, my phone chirped loudly, indicating I had a text message. I quickly opened the text message from Edward, smiling.

_Yes, you do. You'll be amazing. –Smokey_

I smiled at his sweet response and slid my phone into my pocket, slightly reassured. My dad glanced over at me, his hands tightening on the steering wheel.

"Should we talk about this, Bells?" He asked. My eyes shot to his, and I instantly bit my lip and shrugged my shoulders. "Don't play coy with me, young lady. I know what you've been up to this past week, and I think we need to have a little talk about it. Edward is a good guy. He's a hard worker, and he's down to earth. But he's twenty years old, and he's in Washington while you're in New York. A relationship between the two of you would be impossible."

"Not necessarily." I said evenly. "There are a lot of ways to keep in touch with people now. There's texting and Skype and phone calls and emails. Dad, please. I like him, and I promise I'm not letting things move too fast. We just started hanging out last week and we're going to keep talking. If things work out, then they work out. If not, it's no big deal." I assured him, even though that was a lie. I was going to do everything possible to try and make a relationship with Edward work out, because I knew we could have something special.

My dad frowned, not looking away from the road. "If you're sure, Bella. But you're not even eighteen years old, so didn't get too hung up on him. There are plenty of fish in the sea."

I snorted. "You sound like mom." I said dryly, and my dad made a face. I giggled and picked up my book, peeking at my dad through the corner of my eye. When my parents got divorced when I was six, there was a big dispute about which of my parents I would live with. Eventually, my dad won out because I threw a huge fit about leaving school and my friends. My mom was a little hurt, but she agreed and I spent all of my summers with her in New York City. At first, I had absolutely hated the city. I thought it was scary and loud and too big compared to the quiet tranquility that I was used to in Forks.

Over the years, that changed. I looked forward to my summers in the city, and Juilliard had been my first choice school not only because of its prestige, but also because it was New York City. My mom had been thrilled, and my dad was proud of my achievements.

I loved dancing. I had started ballet when I was five, to improve my horrible posture and coordination. But I quickly fell in love with dancing, loving how I felt whenever I danced. It felt beautiful, and it made me feel beautiful at the same time. I never thought I would be good enough to get into a school like Juilliard, but thanks to encouragement from my parents and my ballet instructor, I gained enough confidence to follow my dreams. And dancing made me feel _good_. It made me feel like I was special.

"Bella, I don't think I tell you this enough, but I'm really proud of you." My dad suddenly said, and I looked over at him in surprise. My dad was a fairly quiet guy, and wasn't big on affection or compliments. He always supported me, but was a man of few words.

"Thank you." I said, blushing.

"When you were little and you wanted to stay in Washington, I was always afraid you'd end up like your mother- stuck in Forks, married to someone who risks his life every time he goes to work."

I remained silent, a little put off by my father's words. What if I _wanted_ that for myself? It seemed silly to imagine a future with Edward at this point, but I couldn't help it. "What's wrong with marrying a fireman?" I finally asked my dad, and he was quiet, not looking at me.

"You've got a lot of potential to do a lot of things with your life, Isabella. You don't need to be thinking about any of that right now. Besides, you'll be in all the way in New York." My dad said firmly, and I just nodded my head. I didn't need to get in an argument with him over something like this. What I did in my life was up to me, but I wasn't going to dare and point that out to my father. "Bells, you'll do great." He finally said, and I cracked another smile. I wanted my dad to be proud of me. That, along with my own dedication, was what motivated me.

August 10, 2010, New York City:

"Bella! Baby, you look so grown up, I can't believe I haven't seen you for a whole year!" My mom instantly pulled me into her arms, kissing the top of my head. She was picking me up from the airport, and it was true about not having seen each other for a year. Since I would be moving to New York, closer to my mom, I had spent my summer in Washington for the very first time since I was six years old.

"I've missed you." I whispered, hugging her tightly.

My mom squeezed my gently before she held me at arm's length, looking me up and down. "You look more beautiful every time I see you, baby girl." She said happily.

Predictably, I blushed, making my mom laugh. I had missed hearing her laugh. "Can we get going now?" I asked impatiently. "I am totally unbelievably hungry." As if to make my point, my stomach growled loudly. My mom laughed loudly again, giving one more big hug before linking arms with me and leading me towards the baggage claim to get my two large suitcases. The rest of my things would be shipped next week.

"Of course. Your choice for dinner, as a welcome back to New York treat." My mom promised me, a wide smile on her face. We gathered up my bags and managed to wrestle them into my mom's small compact car, laughing the whole time. That's what my mom and I did best- laugh. When we were together, it seemed like everything was about a million times funnier.

We decided to drop my stuff of at my mom's apartment first, but by the time we managed to find a parking spot, I was even hungrier than before and complaining. So I sat in the car while by mom took my bags up to her apartment, because she teased me that she was afraid I'd eat everything in the kitchen. As I sat there, I looked around and couldn't help but smile. This was it. It was starting.

And then I remembered that I needed to text Edward. So I pulled out my phone, starting a text message before deciding that I need to _talk_ to him. So I dialed his number and held my breath. When he answered, I exhaled loudly. "Hi." I said quietly, ducking my head forward so that my hair shielded my flaming face. "I'm here."

"Is it as amazing as you say it is?" Edward teased.

"Of course it is, Smokey." I shot back. "My mom picked me up from the airport about an hour ago and now I'm waiting in the car while she takes my bags to her apartment. I'm staying with her until school starts." I rambled on, wanting to tell him everything. "I'm starved now, though. We're going to grab something to eat in a few minutes."

"I'm glad you got there safely." Edward said, and I heard voices in the background.

"Where are you?" I asked curiously, twirling a piece of my hair around my index finger.

Edward hesitated for a second, and I heard shuffling noises, and then it was all quiet. "Sorry. I'm at the station. Emmet and Peter came into the room and they're arguing."

"Oh, I didn't know you were working tonight. I'm sorry, I forgot. If you're busy, I can go." I offered.

Again, Edward hesitated. "Uh, yeah, actually I should go. Your dad is around here somewhere."

"Okay. Before you go, I should tell you that my dad talked about you on our drive to Seattle. He said that I shouldn't get too attached to you, and that there were other fish in the sea." I paused for a moment. "I want you to know that I'm going to ignore his advice." I said shyly, and Edward laughed. "Be safe, okay Smokey? I still miss you."

"I will. And I miss you too, Sunshine. Have fun."

After a few more words of goodbye, I hung up the phone and felt even worse than before. Suddenly, the driver's door opened and my mom slid into the car. "Were you on the phone?" She asked, clipping in her seatbelt.

"Oh, um, yeah." I said lamely, holding up my phone to show her before putting it back in my pocket. "Just a friend from Forks." I explained.

My mom grinned knowingly at me as she pulled out onto the street, narrowly avoiding a passing taxi. "A _boy_ friend from Forks?" She asked, and I remained silent, knowing that I was caught and that the questioning was going to start now. "It's about time you started talking to boys. What's his name? How old is he?"

"Um, his name is Edward." I said, not looking my mom in the eye. "Don't talk to daddy about this, okay?"

"Okay…why not?" My mom asked. I stayed silent, and she sighed loudly. "Baby, you know I support you no matter what. Why don't you want your father to know about this?"

I finally looked over at her, sighing. "He works with dad at the fire station. He's twenty. We're not dating or anything, but I really like him and we've been hanging out together." I mumbled. My mom was quiet for a little while, and I knew that it meant she was thinking.

"You'll be eighteen in a month, so I know you can make your own decisions about who you date. But…a fireman? Do you know how hard it is to be involved with a fireman? They're heroes, Bella, they are, but they risk their lives almost every day. When your dad and I were married, you can't imagine how scared I was when he went to work. It became a routine, but it was still scary. That might be a little too much stress for you, especially now that you're starting at Juilliard."

"I know." I said quietly. I did worry about Edward, but I knew that he used his head and that the rest of the guys had his back. They looked out for each other, and kept each other safe. "Mom, we're not even dating. I just like him, and it would be really nice to see how it goes."

…

**Not sure what POV will be in the next chapter. Maybe both? If you review, I'll do my best to get one last chapter out before I leave. So please give me your thoughts!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	4. Chapter 4

**You guys are awesome. So, as promised, here is another chapter before I go MIA for the next week or so. I lied when I said that this chapter has both POV's…it ended up just being BPOV. Maybe next chapter we'll get the EPOV we want to see!**

**Originally, I planned to have Jacob in the story as a threat to their relationship. Then I realized that in fanfic's, Jacob is usually a murder, rapist, wife beater, or a complete prick. So he won't be in this one. Edward might get a little jealous of the Jacob/Bella friendship, but it will be platonic for both of them. But, of course, I **_**need**_** some other kind of complication. And that will come in the form of…Marcus. Not sure when I'll introduce his character, but if it's not in this chapter then it will be soon.**

…

BPOV- August 23, 2010, New York:

"Good luck." My mom said, giving me a hug. "I know you'll be amazing, Bella. I'm so proud of you for following your dreams and getting into this school."

"Thanks." I managed, looking around my dorm room. It wasn't too small, but none of my stuff was unpacked yet and my roommate had yet to arrive, so there was a good chance it would get very cluttered very fast. "Really, mom, thank you. The support you and dad have shown me…it's amazing. I'm lucky to have you as parents, and thank you for caring about me and loving me.

My mom's eyes filled with tears and she pulled me into her arms for another hug, kissing the top of my head and stroking my hair as she held me close. "It's no problem at all, Bella. Your dad and I both want you to be happy with whatever you choose to do in life."

I wiped tears from my cheeks as my mom released me, and then looked at her watch. "I wish I could stay and help, Bella…but my meeting starts in an hour. Are you going to be okay unpacking on your own?" She asked, wiping her own tears away with the back of her hand.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. My roommate will be here soon, and I'll see you for dinner on Friday. Good luck with the meeting." I said, and I felt like my mother was slipping out of my grasp, when she would really just be fifteen blocks away from me while I was in school. "Thank you." I whispered again, and my mom gently touched my cheek.

"Alright. I'll see you Friday at six…I really am proud of you, Bella. You're my star." And with one last hug and kiss, my mom tearfully left.

I watched her go, crossing my arms across my chest. I walked over to the window, looking out onto the Lincoln Center Plaza, fifteen floors down. Everyone down there looked so small, but I didn't feel any different. I felt small too, like I was just another person that blended in with the crowds and didn't really matter. That's what I was scared of here- blending in to well and getting lost in the shuffle of talented performers.

Before I could start crying again, the door to the room swung open again, and a tall willowy girl with brown hair and tan skin walked in, toting bags and followed by two people that must have been her parents.

"Hello." I managed, trying to cheer up. "I'm Bella Swan. Are you my roommate, Angela Weber?"

The girl nodded and smiled, setting her bags down on the empty side of the room. "Yes, it's nice to meet you." She said, her voice low and quiet. "And these are my parents." She added, gesturing to the man and woman standing behind her with more boxes and bags.

"Hello." I said again, walking over to shake their hands. "I'm Bella." I repeated.

They introduced themselves as Pastor and Mrs. Weber, and then invited me to have lunch with them later. I agreed quickly, and they stuck around to help Angela unpack before we went to lunch. I hadn't brought much along with me, but unpacking still took a lot of time. Angela didn't have much either, but had brought some necessities for the room that I hadn't even thought of, including a mini fridge and a tiny little microwave. I had brought a television we could both use, as well as an extra bookshelf that I told her she was welcome to use.

The four of us chatted politely as we all unpacked, and it was clear that Angela was very sweet, but quiet. She was a violinist, and was very studious.

"Bella, where are you from?" Mrs. Weber asked at one point, as she made Angela's bed.

"Well, I usually live with my dad in this really tiny town in Washington named Forks, but during the summers I've always come up to visit my mom here in the city." I explained, putting all of my freshly sharpened pencils into a container on my neat and tidy desk.

Mrs. Weber brightened, smiling at her husband. "We know about Forks…my husband used to serve at a church in Port Angeles, and we drove through the town of Forks several times. It seems very quaint, like a nice place to grow up."

"It was." I said, smiling as I thought of my hometown. Although Forks had been unbearably boring at times, it would always have a special place in my heart. "My dad is the Fire Chief." I added. "So I always had a lot of fun visiting the station. Most of the guys there are practically like…uncles to me." I said, and then blushed slightly when I thought of Edward. He _definitely _wasn't like an uncle to me.

"That's always good, to have a lot of support like that." Pastor Weber commented from where he was setting up the television with Angela. "What did you say you were majoring in?"

I smiled, nodding my head. "Yes, it was amazing to have that kind of support behind me always. And I'm a ballet dancer."

"Oh!" Mrs. Weber exclaimed. "Angie and I love the ballet…we go every year to see a big show, and make a day of it. Have you been in any big productions?" She questioned.

"Um, yes. When I was sixteen I was the lead in _Swan Lake _and I've been in the Nutcracker almost every year since I was seven. I've played Clara for the past three years." I said, trying not to sound like I was bragging. Whenever someone asked about my ballet resume, it always felt like I was making a big deal out the shows I've been in, even though I'm really not. Like my dad has always said, I'm just proud of what I have accomplished, and there isn't any shame in that.

"That's impressive." Angela remarked, looking up at me with a smile. "I'm sure you'll be great here." I smiled at her kind words, but there was still an odd feeling my in gut. I knew it was nerves, but I wasn't exactly sure why I was so nervous. I had been dancing for ten years, over half my life. I loved it, and it was my true passion.

Before I could start thinking too hard, though, my cell phone rang from where it was sitting on my freshly made bed. I hurried to get it, my cheeks staining red because I knew that it had to be Edward. "Hello?" I answered the phone and grinned when I heard his voice. "Hi, Edward." I said, and then waved slightly in the direction of the Weber's as I walked out of the room. "I'll be back after I take this call!" I told him, and then shut the door to the room behind me, leaning against the wall. "I've missed you." I said immediately.

"I've missed you too." Edward assured me, his voice rough and scratchy.

"Are you sick?" I asked, frowning slightly at the roughness of his voice.

He coughed a few times before answering. "No, but we just got back from a call." He explained, and my heart immediately clenched at the thought of him fighting a fire, putting his life in danger so that he and the rest of the guys could save others.

"Oh. You're okay, though, right? You didn't inhale too much smoke?" I questioned worriedly."

Edward chuckled quietly, and it calmed me down a little to hear his laugh. "I'm fine, Sunshine. I promise. I'm on my way home now."

"Okay, good. I just met my roommate." I said, changing the subject. I didn't want to think about Edward potentially being hurt, especially not now when we were so far apart.

"Really? Tell me all about her." Edward said, and I launched into a description."

"Here name is Angela Weber, and she's a Pastor's daughter. He's a traveling Pastor, so they've lived all over the place, including Port Angeles." I rattled off. "She's quiet and sweet and she's a violinist. So far, we're getting along really well. She brought a mini fridge and a microwave for our room."

Edward had grown up in Port Angeles, so he asked a few questions about Pastor and Mrs. Weber before deciding that Pastor Weber must have served there before he was born, or when he was too little to have remembered. Our conversation continued, and eventually the door to our room opened and Angela poked her head out. "Bella, we're about to leave for lunch." She said apologetically, and I looked down at my watch to see that Edward and I had been talking for almost an hour.

"Oh! Sorry, Edward, I have to go. I miss you, Smokey, and I'll text you tonight." I promised, and Angela cocked her eyebrow at the mention of my nickname for Edward. He said goodbye as well, and I was still smiling as I hung up the phone.

I walked back into the room with Angela on my heels. "Ooh, Bella, who's Edward? Your boyfriend?" She asked, causing her mother to shake her head and laugh. I blushed, shrugging my shoulders.

"Not really." I murmured. "We've been hanging out, but since I'm only seventeen we haven't started dating. He works with my dad at the fire station."

"That's sweet. How old is he?" Angela asked curiously. "And how are you only seventeen?"

"Oh, I skipped a grade in junior high." I explained. "And Edward is twenty."

Angela nodded, gathering up her purse. "That's nice."

I smiled tightly, and then turned to Angela's parents. "Edward grew up in Port Angeles." I told them. "Maybe you know his parents. His surname is 'Cullen'." Although Edward and I had grown very close in a short amount of time, I knew virtually nothing about his parents or family, accept for that he was an only child and that his parents were from Port Angeles.

Pastor Weber frowned slightly, thinking it over. "Cullen…yes, I think I do remember them." He turned to his wife. "Elizabeth Cullen, didn't she pass away not long after the birth of her son? Yes, I remember, I handled her services." I nodded, although I was shocked. Edward's mother had died after he was born? He had never said anything…"Carlisle Cullen, though, I remember him very well. He was a very good doctor, and I can't imagine what he went through when he lost this wife. Must have been even harder to have a baby at the same time." Pastor Weber remarked, smiling fondly at his wife.

I nodded again, lost in thought. Edward had lost his mother, had never gotten the chance to know her. I wondered if I would be able to handle that, losing my mother. I knew that I wouldn't, because although I didn't get to see her much, she was unbelievably important to me. I could never handle that empty void in my life, the one that a mother fills, and I wondered how Edward managed it.

…

**I'm going to start packing for our mini-vacation now…we're leaving tonight. Please continue to review, and I'll see you in about eleven days with a new chapter.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**

**P.S. I know my chapters are relatively short, but usually they are **_**way**_** shorter than the ones for this story. I'm not sure why, but these are really easy to write.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I saw Eclipse while on my mini-vacation. It was awesome, way better than the first two. Jacob and Edward both looked **_**so **_**good. The mini-vacation went well and Blakely got spoiled rotten…now we're home and I'm looking forward to some down time. Jensen just took Blakely to the park, so I found the time to update. And I keep making her wear her Twilight bib, even though she doesn't technically need a bib. This chapter might be a bit short, but it depends on when Jensen and Blakely return from the park.**

**Not sure if that EPOV will make it into this chapter. As I'm developing the outline, I see a lot more BPOV, although there will be some EPOV through the story. Stick with this…there will be some tough times in the story, and some things might make you sad or angry, but Edward and Bella belong together…HEA.**

…

BPOV- September 4, 2010, New York:

The first week of school had passed quickly. I met the rest of my suitemates- Alice, Charlotte, Tanya, and Lauren. They were all nice, and it felt good to be making new friends, even though that wasn't a high priority for me. I wanted to succeed here, to make my parents proud and to fulfill my own dreams. I was closest to Alice and Angela, Alice especially because she was a ballet dancer as well.

I missed Edward, but I managed to focus on school and dancing, and the separation didn't seem quiet as bad. We talked almost every night on the phone, and texted throughout the day, but that didn't keep me from worrying about him.

My entire life, I had lived with a firefighter, knowing that it was a honorable and dangerous profession. I had always been around my father, watched him go off to work knowing that he could easily be injured or killed while on the job.

My father's safety was always going to be very important to me, but so would Edward's. I don't know what I would do if something were to happen to either of them…it would devastate me. Because even though we were far apart, I felt myself growing closer and closer to Edward every time we spoke. My suitemates teased me about our relationship- they saw my blush as I took Edward's phone calls, and heckled me playfully.

I was getting used to college life, and thanks to my new friends and days filled with dancing and classes, I was adapting even better. My mom and I planned to have lunch together every Sunday, and I realized how much I had truly missed her. I loved Forks, and I loved living with my dad, but there really was a spot in my heart that only my mother could fill. And that thought brought me back to Edward.

I hadn't known him for a very long time, but I still couldn't believe that he had lost his mother as a child. I wouldn't bring the subject up though, because it was his story to tell, and I didn't want to push Edward on a sensitive subject such as this.

My ringing cell phone distracted me from my thoughts. I rolled over in bed, fumbling for my phone on the nightstand and quickly answering it so that I wouldn't wake up Angela. "Hello?" I answered, already smiling because I knew it was Edward on the line.

"Hey."

My stomach somersaulted at the sound of his voice. "What's up?" I asked softly, exiting our dorm room and walking into the hallway. I closed the door behind me, leaning up against the wall.

"Nothing, really. Sorry to be calling so late, I just got off my shift and waited to tell you goodnight." Edward said, his voice deliciously low and soft and lilting.

"It's fine." I assured him, and I slid down against the wall onto the floor, hugging my knees to my chest. "How are things going? It sounds a little ridiculous, even to me, but I'm actually starting to miss Forks. But…it's probably the people I'm missing, not the actual place."

Edward laughed softly. "Probably." He teased. "But nothing has changed…it's all the same here. What about you?"

"It's all good here." I said easily. "A little stressful, but nothing I can't handle…my suitemates have helped a lot. They're a lot of fun, and we've been hanging out in between classes and stuff." I said, twirling a piece of my hair around my index finger. "My birthday is coming up." I added slyly. "I'll be eighteen in nine days."

"Oh, believe me, I remember." Edward said with a laugh. Then his tone took on a more serious tone. "When will you be back? I miss you."

I sighed, rubbing my forehead. "Hopefully for Thanksgiving." I said softly. "I miss you too…so much. My mom really wants to be with me for Thanksgiving but I want to go back to Forks…and I doubt she'd ever want to go back there. She left when I was six and said she never wanted to go back."

"Your dad misses you too, I can tell." Edward added. "He's grumpy and barely talks to anyone."

I hated thinking about that- how my dad was all by himself for the first time in eighteen years. I had always been there, and even when I had been in New York with my mom, my dad knew that I'd be back at the end of August and would stick around until the beginning of June.

"I know…I expected that." I said, trying to hold back a yawn so that Edward wouldn't hear. But I failed, and he did hear.

"I shouldn't be keeping you from your sleep…go to bed. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Edward." I said, yawning again before hanging up the phone. I stumbled back into the room, quietly closing the door behind me before collapsing into bed.

…

"Don't wake her up, she was on the phone late…"

"Then we _should _wake her up. It's her fault for talking to her boyfriend in the middle of the night when she should be getting her beauty sleep."

The voices interrupted my sleep, and I groaned loudly before rolling over and burying my face into my pillow.

"See, she's practically awake already. She's just ignoring us." I recognized the voice, knowing that it was Alice who was so insistent on me waking up. The other voice was Angela, trying to convince Alice to let me sleep. I really hated Alice right now, and I really loved Angela.

I groaned again, knowing that Alice wouldn't give up, and reluctantly sat up in bed. "Ugh, why are you waking me up, Alice?" I croaked, glancing at the clock on my nightstand. It was only nine thirty on a Sunday morning. Usually I sleep in until noon on Sundays.

"Don't you have to go to lunch with your mom at eleven?" Alice asked, raising her eyebrows at me. She stood above me, dressed in her workout clothes.

"Oh, crap, I forgot about that!" I exclaimed, sitting up quickly. "Thanks." I added sheepishly, and Alice rolled her eyes.

"You're welcome." She said smugly, taking a drink from her disposable coffee cup. "I brought you and Angela both coffee." Alice said, handing me a Starbucks cup. "I picked them up on my way back from my run this morning, and then heated it up for you since you slept so late."

"Thanks." I said dryly, taking a big sip. Of course Alice had probably been up since the crack of dawn, already starting her day. That was the first thing I had learned about Alice- she was a ball of energy, and she hardly ever stopped. It was both a blessing and a curse. "I'll go get ready." I groused, standing up and picking my phone up off of the nightstand. "Ugh, it's dead." I sighed, and looked around the room for my charger.

Angela chuckled, taking a drink of her own coffee. "That's probably because your boy toy called so late last night." She said coyly, and I instantly blushed, ducking my head down as Angela and Alice laughed. "Oh, Bella, we're just kidding. It's nothing to be embarrassed about." She added, noticing my violently red blush.

"I know." I said, plugging my phone in. "But the mention of Edward just gets me blushing." I admitted. Angela laughed again, and Alice rolled her eyes.

"You're ridiculous…you guys aren't even officially dating and you're already head over heels!"

I couldn't help but blush again, which sent Angela and Alice into hysterics. But I knew that Alice's words were true. I was head over heels for Edward, and that was the way I wanted to be.

…

**Please review, let me know what you're thinking!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	6. Chapter 6

**The story is fluffy right now, but there will be some angst coming up, so heed this warning. It's not going to be like, cutting and emo or anything, but there will be some problems with our favorite couple. My BFF Keely helped me write this chapter, and we both fell in love with it!**

**I'm going to see Eclipse again sometime this week…I'm excited. Oh, and thank you guys so much for reviewing. You're wonderful!**

…

BPOV- September 12, 2010, New York:

Technically, I wouldn't be eighteen for another two hours. But that hadn't stopped Alice. I had class the next morning, but here we were, using fake ID's to get drunk at a club and celebrate my eighteenth birthday. Alice and Lauren were practically shoving drinks into my hands, and everyone else was drunk, while I was simply feeling tipsy. I had never drank alcohol like this before, but for now it felt _good_, like an adrenaline rush coursing through my veins.

Now, I was sitting at a table in the far corner of the room with Angela and Lauren, while Alice and Charlotte and Tanya were dancing. About an hour passed, and the three of us kept drinking, laughing, talking, and just having fun.

Alice suddenly appeared at the table, her face bright. "Bella! I just met the _cutest_ guy on the dance floor!" She said happily, sitting down next to me and swiftly taking a shot.

I laughed, shaking my head at her antics. "That's great, Alice." I said dryly. Alice nodded, leaning against me.

"Well, actually, he was more interested in _you_. And he's coming over here to talk to you." Alice said, and I furrowed my eyebrows at her, confused.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked, snorting slightly as I laughed.

My laughter died in my throat as I glanced up from the table and saw Edward standing there, a crooked grin on his face. "Oh my god!" I shrieked, leaping up from the table. I threw myself into Edward's arms, kissing him and not caring who saw. I pressed my lips against his desperately, tangling my fingers in his short hair. He pulled away slightly, but I refused to stop kissing him. I couldn't.

Eventually my friends started cat-calling, and I finally allowed the kiss to break, burying my face into the crook of Edward's neck so no one would be able to see the blush that covered my face.

Alice smirked at me knowingly, and then patted the seat next to her. "Come on, you too. Have a seat." Edward kissed the top of my head, sitting down in the only vacant seat at the table and pulling me down onto his lap. I instantly weaved my arms around his neck, unable to stop myself from smiling. Because Edward was here. "Alright, now that I got you your birthday present, I would like a formal introduction." Alice said, passing each of us a drink.

I took a small sip, looking around the table. Charlotte and Tanya had rejoined us, so everyone was gathered around looking at us. "Guys, this is Edward. Edward, this is Charlotte, Lauren, Angela, Alice, and Tanya. They're my suitemates."

"It's nice to meet you all." Edward said, wrapping his arms around my waist. They all returned the greeting, and I turned anxiously to Alice.

"How did you manage this?" I asked, and Alice and Edward exchanged a knowing look.

"Last Sunday when you went to lunch with your mom, you left your cell phone in your dorm room. And I was, like, freaking out about what to get you for your birthday because we haven't known each other for very long, and then I went into your room and talk to Angela and I saw your phone, and I remembered how you blushed whenever someone would mention your mysterious suitor from Washington. So I called Edward, and we arranged this!" Alice blurted out, throwing her hands up in the air when she was done with the explanation. "So Happy Birthday!"

I laughed out loud, kissing Edward quickly before sliding off his lap and giving Alice a hug. "Thank you." I murmured softly into her ear, squeezing her tightly. "This means a lot to me.

She smiled at patted my arm, and then passed around more drinks.

I stayed cuddled up against Edward all night, unbelievably happy that he was here. He was warm and familiar and beautiful, and I loved how he made me feel, even when we were quiet and just holding onto each other.

"This is okay, right?" Edward suddenly whispered in my ear, and I glance up at him questionably. "I wasn't sure…when Alice called, I wasn't sure if it would be."

"Of course it is, Smokey. I'm so glad you're here." I said honestly, a smile on my lips.

Edward smiled back, his lips grazing against my temple. "Me too, Smokey. But I have to go back tomorrow. My flight is at two. Are you busy during the day?"

"I have class in the morning, but I'll be free for lunch at noon." I said, playing with the hem of his shirt. "Oh…" My good mood faltered slightly, and I bit my lip. "It's my birthday tomorrow…I'm supposed to have lunch with my mom." I said slowly. Edward nodded, waiting for me to continue. "This is going to sound weird because of our situation…but would you want to come to lunch with me? My mom, she's great, and I know she'll really want to meet you."

Edward hesitated, looking down at me. "You're sure?"

"Yes, of course I am." I said, trying to sound mature and confident. "I told my mom that we had been talking, and she gets it." I added, and then I kissed him again. "I'll be eighteen in fourteen minutes." I said against his lips, feeling his smile against my own.

…

Angela went to stay at her boyfriend, Ben's, apartment for the night after we left the club, so Edward came back to our dorm room. Usually Angela and I would both have to fill out a form for an overnight guest to be allowed, but there was no one around when we got back to the building, so we snuck right it. It was a night of shacking up, apparently. Tanya had disappeared with her boyfriend Alec, Alice had stayed at the club with her kind-of-boyfriend Jasper, and Lauren had brought her boyfriend, Tyler, back to her dorm room as well.

Even though I was now officially eighteen years old, Edward and I both knew that it was too soon for us to move forward with our physical relationship. So we curled up under my covers together, snuggled together so that we could fit in the small twin-sized bed. After several minutes of quiet whispering, we dozed off in each other's arms.

I woke up in the morning, hearing a light knock on the door. I quickly disentangled myself from Edward, pulling a robe on over my pajamas before answering the door. It was only Angela, afraid that she would be interrupting something. She winked at me suggestively as she came into the room and saw Edward curled up in my bed. And predictably, I just blushed.

We spoke quietly about the night before and Angela wished me a happy birthday, and eventually Edward started to stir. "Hey, sleepyhead. " I smiled at him, walking over to the edge of the bed and kissing him softly on the lips as he sat up. "I've got to go to class soon, okay? I'll be back around eleven thirty, and then we'll go to lunch. You can hang out here in the room or in the lounge…and if you want to take a shower you may want to get that done before Alice comes back. There's only two showers between the six of us suitemates, so…" I trailed off, smiling down at Edward. "I'm really glad you're here." I finally said.

Edward smiled, taking my hands in his and kissing my knuckles. "Me too, Sunshine." And then he asked for a towel and washcloth so that he could take a shower. I left after showing him to the bathroom, kissing him before practically running out the door.

I was glad I hadn't gotten completely drunk last night- because this morning would have been unbearable if I had. I had a little headache, but it was nothing I couldn't handle. Alice skipped class- which was really to be expected, seeing that she had consumed way more alcohol last night than I had. I was practically counting down the seconds until I could see Edward again- we had only been apart for a month, and that had practically worn me down to the wire.

I didn't know how I was going to adjust to being apart for even longer. I had only been seeing Edward for a month, and most of that time had been spent in different states. That wasn't exactly the best start for a relationship. Because as much as I wanted to be with Edward right _now_, there was a part of me that wondered if we should wait…until I got out of school, and until we could really be together, not states apart.

…

**It's late. I would have continued this chapter, but I'm trying to stick with the whole 'sleep when Blakely sleeps' thing. And she's snoozin'...so goodnight. Please review!**

**I won't be updating this story tomorrow…I'm hoping to update 'Eye of the Beholder' instead, and maybe I'll be able to finish up the last chapter of 'Divine Mercy' while I'm at it. No promises, though. As always, thank you for taking the time to read this story. It means a lot to me!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	7. Chapter 7

**This is the chapter where it starts to get a little rough. So I'm going to bring this up right now. A lot of young-adult relationships, especially long-distance ones, don't work out. I'm not saying it's impossible, because there are people that manage. But you can't tell me that all these people in these relationships are going to want only each other for the rest of their lives, especially in a situation like Edward and Bella's. I think that Bella brings up some really good points about this, so please hear her out!**

**And please review, it means a lot. I'm hoping to get over a hundred with this chapter =)**

**Oh…and I saw Eclipse again last week, like I had been planning. So much better than the first two movies were, by a long shot! David Slade and Robert and Kristen and Taylor and Peter and Elizabeth and Ashley and Jackson and Nikki and Kellan and Billy and **_**everyone **_**else did such a great job with this one.**

…

BPOV- September 13, 2010, New York:

_I was practically counting down the seconds until I could see Edward again- we had only been apart for a month, and that had practically worn me down to the wire._

_I didn't know how I was going to adjust to being apart for even longer. I had only been seeing Edward for a month, and most of that time had been spent in different states. That wasn't exactly the best start for a relationship. Because as much as I wanted to be with Edward right now, there was a part of me that wondered if we should wait…until I got out of school, and until we could really be together, not states apart._

This is insane…I must be going completely crazy. I _want_ to be with Edward. I want to hug him and kiss him and call him my boyfriend. But I can't completely be with him, not while I'm in New York for school and he's still in Washington.

I shook my head, trying to clear out my negative thoughts. I was seeing Edward, and I wasn't about to change that. We had made this decision, and now that I'm eighteen, our relationship can move forward and grow. But again, my thoughts are taken over by negativity. How will out relationship be able to grow when we're thousands of miles apart? Edward did give me the best birthday present I could have ever asked for by coming to New York, but it wasn't like he could do that every weekend.

Again, I wished I had been strong enough to have just waited to get involved with Edward. I've had a crush on him since I first saw him, so I hadn't been able to control myself. So now, we had to face months of painful separation and there was nothing that either of us could do about it.

"What's got you thinking so hard?" I jumped when Edward's voice met my ears, and looked down at my feet as he approached and wrapped his arms around me. "Is something wrong?" He asked.

"No." I whispered, leaning further into his embrace. "Well, actually…yes." I confessed, refusing to look him in the eye. "This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me…you coming all the way here for my birthday." I began, my voice a mere whisper. "And I like you…so much. I want to be with you. But I really wish we had waited to get together."

Edward didn't speak for a moment, and when I snuck a peek at him, he looked stunned, but…thoughtful. "I…I know what you mean." He finally said softly. "But I'm glad we didn't…I like talking with you and being with you and-"

"I know, and I do too, but I kept thinking that things would have been a million times easier if we had just been friends for a little while." I said, and I started to regret my words almost instantly. "Not that I don't want to be with you- I do. I want to, more than anything. I…I just think it would have been smarter for us to wait. To have seen other people first, to figure out what we want for the future."

"So, what, are you ending things?" Edward asked, and dropped his arms from their protective hold around me.

"No!" I exclaimed, grabbing his hand. "I just…I…"

Edward took a step back, shaking his head. "I can't believe you…I came here because I thought you would be happy, and because I thought we could actually start a fucking relationship. I thought we agreed, that when you turned eighteen, we would start dating…that you would be my girlfriend and I'd be your boyfriend.

"I still want that, I just-"

"Stop with the _I just_'s, Bella! Either you want this relationship, or you don't." Edward said, his voice rough and choppy. "I was under the impression that we cared about each other."

"I care about you." I said softly, my voice dropping. "I didn't mean to hurt you…I'm confused, and I don't want this to fall apart because we have to be apart so much." I said, trying to calm Edward down. I reached up and gently stroked his cheek.

Edward looked down at me, his expression unreadable. "I don't want this relationship to fall apart because you don't know what you want." He retaliated, although he had mellowed down.

"I know I want you and this relationship. What I don't know is how it's going to work out with us so far apart." I pointed out.

"People have long-distance relationships all the time." Edward murmured, stepping close to me and pulling my body flush against his. "And I don't think many people have the connection and chemistry that we do."

I shook my head in agreement, not bothering to speak. "Maybe we should just…cool it for a little while. You know…give each other some space to figure this out. We're not breaking up, I swear. I don't want to break up with you. All I want is to make sure we can handle the distance without being completely dependent on each other."

Edward was a quiet for a split second and then kissed me- his silent agreement.

…

I shouldn't have been worried about my mom meeting Edward. They hit it off right away, joking and laughing and talking while I stayed quiet for the most part. Edward noticed my slightly sullen behavior, but didn't say anything until my mom got up from the table to go to the bathroom after we ate our entrées.

"What is your problem?" He asked in a hushed voice, and I shook my head.

"I don't know." I replied, crossing my arms across my chest. "I really don't. I've never introduced a guy to my mom before…it's a little weird." Edward furrowed his eyebrows, obviously a little concerned, but I quickly shook my head. "Just because I've never done it before." I amended softly, and Edward relaxed visibly.

We held hands over the table for a moment, our fingertips grazing and pushing and pressing playfully. But just then, someone called out to me. "Hey, Isabella, is that you?" I turned slightly in my chair to see Marcus, a boy from my music theory class, walking over to our table.

"Yeah, hey, Marcus." I said with a friendly smile, looking up at him.

"I thought so." He said, smiling proudly. "Who's this?" He added, gesturing towards Edward.

"This is my boyfriend, Edward. We were just having lunch with my mom." I said, looking over at Edward and smiling as I spoke the word _boyfriend_ aloud. "Edward, this is Marcus. We have a class together." I explained, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear. Edward and Marcus exchanged pleasantries, and then Marcus excused himself, smiling widely at me and waving before he turned away and went back to his own table.

That was the moment my mom came back from the bathroom, and immediately picked up her conversation with Edward right where they had left it off. As they spoke, I glanced back towards where Marcus was sitting, instantly overcome with a blush when I saw that he was looking at me too.

…

**I was just watched an old episode of Ellen and Kellan Lutz was on! She offered him $5,000 for charity to take his shirt off…and he didn't. But he did some pretty awesome push-ups, so it was all good. I'm in love with Robert and Peter and Kellan…they are all amazingly good looking. Taylor, too, but I like my men just a little bit older than he is, so I'll have to declare my love for him when he's just a couple of years older, like in his earlier twenties or so. We'll see.**

**Not sure when the next update will be…tomorrow would be great, but I'm not sure if that will happen. Let's just say it will be on Thursday at the latest. **

**Leave me some epic love and just leave a review!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	8. Chapter 8

**Yikes. Sorry for the delay…last week Jensen and I went on a little vacation to celebrate our one year anniversary (which really isn't until the fifteenth), and then when we got back home on Monday we discovered that while we had been gone, Blakely had developed a raging ear infection. The poor little thing has been miserable all week, and oh my god she can scream loud. But I took her to the doctor and got her the meds she needs, so she should be getting better =)**

**So…Bella is finicky. That's not a crime! But I know I was kind of like her in college too…I'd be totally in love with a guy and everything would be good and then suddenly, there was another guy to catch my fancy. I think it sometimes comes along with the whole independence thing- you just want to spread your wings and discover all that you can.**

…

BPOV- September 13, 2010, New York:

"I am really going to miss you." I said softly, burying my face in Edward's chest. "And I'm sorry. But I think it would best for us to lay off until we can actually be a real couple…it's just how I feel. That doesn't mean I don't want to be with you, because I do. It just means that I want to find a little independence first. I've never had a boyfriend, and I don't think I'm ready for a long distance relationship right now." I said softly, tears coming to my eyes. "I'm so sorry to have led you on, Smokey. But I'm still going to text, and when I come to Forks for Christmas, I'll have a definite answer for you."

Edward nodded, holding me tighter against his body as he remained silent. When he spoke, his voice was rough. "I get it. You want to…experience more. I won't hold it against you." He promised, squeezing me even tighter. "I just thought that when you turned eighteen, that would be it. I didn't realize that it wouldn't get any easier. Part of me is thankful that you brought it up." He said honestly, and then slowly pulled away from me. "Do good, okay? I'll see you in December." He said, and then softly kissed me on the lips. "I'll miss you too, Sunshine."

I bit my lip and clung to him again, and Edward pulled away again. "I have to go." He said gently, brushing his soft lips against my forehead.

Then he left me in the middle of the Lincoln Center Plaza, not looking back. I didn't blame him- my sudden fear of commitment must have been a huge shock, especially after he had come to see me for my birthday. But I had to do this. I was afraid that if I didn't, I would always regret it. I cared about Edward, but I needed to know more before I could make such a huge commitment to him. Because I know that once I get involved with him further, I'm never going to want to let go.

But I don't want to end up like my mom- married to a firefighter from a small town, stuck there with a child and with a life I don't want for myself. Because right now, I honestly don't know what I want, other than that I wanted to dance. When I was dancing, everything somehow felt simpler. It was just me the music and the steps and the rhythm…it was an adrenaline rush.

It was only the middle of September, and classes had only been in session for a couple of weeks, but things were already starting to get competitive. Dates for rehearsals were already being set up, and suddenly the winter recital seemed dangerously close.

Now that I had practically ruined my relationship with Edward, all I could do was just try and totally throw myself into ballet and school. I dragged Alice to practice more than usual, and spent all the time I could warming up and perfecting my steps the best that I could.

Still, the void wasn't filled. I texted Edward a few times, hoping to keep the conversation light, but his answers were vague and uncharacteristically short. He never called, so neither did I. And I felt so guilty for what I had done. He had come all the way here to see me for my birthday, and I had gone and ruined. Part of me was saying that it wasn't my fault- I couldn't really control the way I was feeling. But another part of me was screaming that I should have never let Edward go like that.

However, if I hadn't done it, we both would have been dealing with a lie. I could not see myself as the girl who married her first boyfriend and settled down immediately. There was nothing wrong with that, not at all, but it simply wasn't _me_. I was overly cautious about everything as it was, and this whole messy situation with Edward was no different. How was I supposed to know if Edward was the _right one _if I didn't even know what the _wrong one_ was?

I saw Marcus around several times. He was in my English class, and we ran into each other sometimes outside of class. He was…nice. Fun to be around. Smart. I let him buy me coffee once, even though I was totally unsure about the whole thing. He asked me about my boyfriend at one point, and I had blushed and stammered and sputtered before spitting out that 'it's complicated', and 'we're taking a little time'. Luckily, he didn't try anything. It was a good thing, because if he had, I would have no idea what to do.

I guess things will just have to progress more naturally.

By the time November rolls around, I'm drained both physically and emotionally. I hadn't spoken to Edward since October first, with the exception of a few texts and one voicemail I pitifully left on his cell phone, which he hadn't replied to. I knew that I had been the one to mess things up and draw up lines and boundaries…but it still hurt that he seemed to be ignoring me. I talked to my dad at least once a week, and once I had gotten the courage to ask about Edward.

My dad had been quiet for a minute, and then had simply replied with, 'all the guys are doing fine'. Nothing specific. No real answers. But I should have known better to expect that from my dad…that's how he is. He's content to skim over things and just forget the bad parts, unlike me. I over think and pick and pull at things until I have the complete picture.

I couldn't help but think about Edward often. It was my own fault- I had thought about him so much before, now it almost felt natural. But in all actuality, it was hurting me.

I remembered the look on his face when I told him how I felt about our long distance relationship, and I remembered the way he kissed me before he left to catch his plane back to Washington. But most of all, I remembered how sweet he was to me. The cute text messages and voicemails, the caring gestures, and the way he treated me overall. It could have been wonderful, if only the circumstances were different.

But this was Juilliard. This was my future. And I couldn't give it up, no matter how I felt about Edward. Unfortunately, the more I tried to keep my focus off Edward, the more I missed him. I started texting him more and more, and just felt worse when his replies didn't reflect the man I remembered.

Tonight, I want a real answer. Alice and Angela and all the other girls had gone out to dinner, but I had decided to stay at the dorm. I was so tired, and I was feeling more and more down. Alice and Angela were constantly trying to get me out of my 'funk', but they weren't exactly successful. I had dug myself this whole, and unfortunately I wasn't quite sure how to get out.

I held my cell phone in my hand, just sitting there and looking at it for a long time. Then I took a deep breath and punched in Edward's number, which I had memorized at this point. It rang for a long time, and then switched over to voicemail. Tears of disappointment prickled in my eyes, and I had to sniffle and clear my throat before the _beep_ that indicated I could leave a message.

"Hey, it's me. Um, you know, Bella…look, I know you're really busy. I know that. But…is everything okay? I have a really bad feeling that you just kind of are avoiding me and honestly I hate that. I know I was the one to kind of put a hold on our, um, romantic relationship, but part of that reasoning was that I want to be friends first. And it doesn't feel like we're friends. It kind of feels like you hate me. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to sound like that." I sighed, frustrated with myself. "Uh, anyway, please just call me back. I miss you and I miss being able to just have a normal conversation with you. I don't know when you work or anything, so please call me when you're off. I…I really miss you, Smokey."

I hung up the phone and threw it next to me on the bed, wiping my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt as I did so. I hated feeling like this. I hated that I had done this to myself, and that it is pretty much all my fault.

The part I hate the most, worst part of it all, was that I can't bring myself to entirely regret my decision to put a halt on our relationship. I feel bad about it, and a lot of the time I wish I hadn't done it, but I couldn't deny that it had probably been the right thing to do. I had never had a boyfriend before, let alone one that lived across the country.

…

**Whew, it's almost two in the morning! Definitely time for me to get some sleep! Goodnight and please review, let me know what's on your mind.**

**And oh, I still don't have a story length figured out…this one might run a little long and I'm already thinking about a sequel. We'll see how that works out in the long run, I suppose. So…like I said, I'm headed to bed. I hope you enjoyed, and thanks so much for putting up with the delay!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	9. Chapter 9

**Here comes the ultimate breaking point, so to speak. Remember, this story will be rocky for a little while, but then will go back to some fluff, but there will still be some drama. **

**The possibility for a sequel is in the works, but I won't know for sure about that until it gets closer to the end of the story. Which…doesn't exactly have an end in sight at the moment. It'll probably be around…thirty chapters? But that's not a for sure estimate, so that has a really good chance of changing in the future.**

…

BPOV- November 28, 2010, New York City:

"Hey, dad." I said into the phone, trying to sound like I wasn't completely miserable. Of course, he saw right through it.

"What's wrong, Bells?" He immediately asked, and tears flooded to my eyes.

"Does Edward hate me?" I managed to spit out. "Does he have a girlfriend? Why won't he call me back?" I blubbered, the tears in my eyes suddenly escaping and running down my cheeks."I know you probably don't want to hear about this, but please…why does he hate me?"

My dad was silent for a second, and I heard him clear his throat. "I think you and Edward should just lay off for a little while." He finally said.

"That's the problem!" I cried, not even bothering to wipe my eyes as more tears ran. "When he came to New York for my birthday I told him we should take it easy, and now he won't even talk to me."

"Bella, I know you don't want to hear this, but that's probably for the best. Edward…he's happy here in Forks. He likes the small town and he likes his job. And you, you're just getting started in college. You love the city, and you have a whole promising career before you. Edward isn't…he just isn't fit for the life that you want."

My heart practically dropped to my knees, and my voice lowered to a whisper. "Dad…what are you saying? Have you said this stuff to Edward?" Again, my dad was quiet, and I knew that he had. "I can't believe you. You basically told him he wasn't good enough!"

"Because he isn't, Bella." My dad replied sharply. "You have a bright future, and you don't need to be tied down to someone like Edward."

"That's not for you to decide!" I wailed. "I…I don't even know exactly what I want, how the hell do you think _you _do?"

"Watch your mouth." My dad snapped, and I just continued to cry. "Come on, Bells. You wouldn't have done what you did in September if you weren't unsure about Edward."

"It wasn't Edward I was unsure about." I said weakly, sniffling through my tears. "It was me! And…and what I wanted for myself. And two months without talking to Edward, having the connection that we do, was pure torture."

My dad sighed loudly. "Edward agrees with me." He said, and I could tell from the tone of his voice that he was telling the truth, and that made my heart hurt even more. "He and I had a talk back in September, and he agreed that he won't stand in your way."

"He wasn't standing in my way." I whispered weakly. "He was making me happy."

"There's nothing you can accomplish by talking to me about it, Bella. I'm always here to talk to you, but this is something that you need to talk about with Edward."

"Thanks to you, he won't even answer my calls." I said bitterly, wiping my tears on the sleeve of my shirt. "I'll see you for Christmas, dad. Just…leave me alone until then."

"I love you, Bella. I'm just watching out for you." My dad said, and I couldn't help but understand where he was coming from. I was his daughter, his baby, and he had always told me he would protect me no matter what. I guess he couldn't protect me from everything, like I had believed when I was younger.

"I know. I love you too. Just please, I need a little bit of time." I whispered, and then unceremoniously hung up the phone.

Still crying, I flopped back onto my bad, holding my pillow tightly in my arms. I was glad Angela was out getting something for dinner, because I was sure that she must have thought I was insane. I couldn't even count the number of times I've cried over Edward and my stupid heart since my eighteenth birthday. After my tears dissipated slightly, I picked up my phone again.

Full of sadness and confusion, I dialed Edward's number and brought my phone up to my ear. It rang and rang and I waited for the now-familiar automated voice telling me that Edward was unavailable. Finally, I was able to leave my message.

"It's me." I said softly, trying not to let my voice betray the fact that I was starting to cry again. "I just talked to my dad…he told me what he said, and how you feel. I'm sorry for dragging you along when all you want is to live your life normally. You've already got a life, and mine is just starting. I won't bother you anymore, I promise. Just…will you call me back one last time? I would just like to talk to you. Okay, um, bye."

I hung up and tossed my phone across the room, my tears breaking loose again. Seconds or minutes or maybe even hours passed, and then I heard my cell phone beep loudly from across the room. I bolted upwards and scrambled out of my bed, desperately kicking away the sheets that were bunched around me. I stumbled over to my phone, my heart racing as I picked it up.

_One New Text Message_, the screen read, and I opened it anxiously.

_B-_

_I can't. Please don't make this harder than it already is._

_I'm sorry too._

_-E_

And that was it. I dropped my phone again and sat down on the floor, my heart and mind each clouding over as more and more tears came.

I was still sitting there when Angela came back to the room and found me. I was crying pathetically, and she immediately sank down next to me on the floor. Silently, she put one of her arms around me and rubbed my back, soothing me the best she could. She let me cry, and then when I was finally finished she continued to hold me comfortingly.

"Are you okay?" She asked in a whisper, and I shook my head.

"I should have never pushed him away." I whispered, looking up at the ceiling. I was stupid and thought that it was too soon for me feel the way I felt about him, I thought that was a bad sign…I couldn't tie myself to him when I was so unsure. I should have just held onto him as tightly as I could, because now he's gone." I wailed.

Angela waited for me to calm down a little bit, and then spoke again. "Edward?" She asked, and I nodded. "Bella, I've only seen you with Edward once. But the way he looked at you, and the way you looked back at him, that's something that can't just be destroyed. I know you were really unsure about everything, but maybe, eventually, you and Edward can start things up again."

"I'll be here in New York, and he'll be in Washington." I said miserably. "Even if I went back to Forks after college…there's no way someone else wouldn't have snatched him up. He's an amazing catch, Angela. He's the sweetest, most attractive,…perfect…person I've ever met."

"Sometimes, you've got to have a little hope." Angela said. "If you're meant to be, you won't give up so easily. I'm sorry I can't be more help, Bella. But have you considered that this might be for the best? You can focus on school, make new friends, maybe even date around a little bit. And then maybe, you'll realize there isn't another guy for you."

"I don't know." I replied. "Thanks, Angela. But…I just want to take a shower and go to bed. I have rehearsals every tomorrow morning."

Angela gave me a tight smile and nodded, and we helped each other up off the floor. "Okay…I'm going to go hang out with Ben. If you need me, just call." I nodded silently, and Angela gathered up her purse and jacket and left the room.

After a long, hot shower, I crawled into bed and pulled the covers up over my head. I slid my headphones in and grabbed my iPod, putting it on shuffle and trying to sleep, even though it felt like even the lyrics were against me.

_Summer after high school, when we first met  
We'd make out in you mustang to radio head  
And on my 18th birthday we bought matching tattoos  
Used to steal your parent's liquor and climb to the roof  
_

_Talk about our future like we had a clue  
Never planned that one day i'd be losing you  
_

_In another life I would be your girl  
We keep all our promises be us against the world  
In another life I would make you stay  
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away  
The one that got away._

I was June you were my johnny cash  
Never one without the other we made a pact  
Sometimes when I miss you I put those records on...woe  


_Someone said you had your tattoo removed  
Saw you down town singin the blues  
It's time to face the music i'm no longer your muse  
But in another life I would be your girl  
_

_We keep all our promises be us against the world  
In another life I would make you stay  
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away_

The one that got away.

…

**That's 'The One That Got Away' by Katy Perry. Her new CD is really good…I love it.**

**Anyway, please review =)**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie **


	10. Chapter 10

**Oh my. I have missed this story- and you guys- so much, it's unbelievable! But, I've been working on one of my other stories, trying to get it wrapped up. That one still isn't done, but there isn't really much left to it. So I decided that this story definitely needed an update.**

**As always, thank you for the wonderful reviews. And you can get teasers for each chapter on my blog, www(dot)22lovelovelove22(dot)com.**

**This chapter is pretty much a filler chapter, but Edward and Bella will meet again (briefly) during the _next _chapter. That'll be a bit rough, so prepare yourself for that when the next update comes...just a little word of advice!**

…

BPOV- December 21, 2010, Forks Washington:

It all still looked very much the same.

Snow was piled up everywhere, Christmas decorations stretched as far as the eye could see, and the streets were practically deserted. Charlie and I had been silent the entire time we had been the car- from Seattle to Forks. At the airport we had hugged and exchanged pleasantries, but I was still hurting and he knew to give me some space. The silence continued until the car slowed and turned into the fire station.

I shot Charlie an angry, panicked look, but he quickly interjected.

"I've just got to grab your set of house keys, Bells. I left them in my office after I got them cleaned up." He assured me. "You coming in, or do you want to stay in the car?" He asked, opening his own car door. I hesitated for a second, and Charlie picked up on the reason for my hesitation right away. "He's not here, Bella." Charlie promised, and I reluctantly got out of the car.

It was relatively quiet around the station this afternoon. I could hear some soft music playing and voices, but otherwise it was calm. I followed behind Charlie and watched in silence as he unlocked the door to his office. "I've got messages to check, too, but it'll be just a second." He added apologetically, and I just shrugged. It wasn't like I had any other place to be.

Leaning against the wall outside of the office, I glanced around. Just like the rest of my small hometown, the station looked the same.

Just as I looked back down at my feet, the door to the kitchen swung open, and the sounds of talking and laughter swelled towards me, as well as the smells of dinner being put together.

I glanced up on a reflex, coming face to face with Emmet McCarty. "Bella!" He exclaimed, making a beeline towards me. "It's good to see you home again, kid. How's Julliard treating you?"

My words stuck in my throat for a moment as I thought of Julliard. Dancing was my passion and I loved it, but it was hard to accept that I was no longer the best. While I had been good enough to get into the prestigious school, there were still plenty of extremely talented people that I was up against. The competition and the amount of pressure was insane.

"Oh, it's good." I managed after a moment, smiling as genuinely as I could handle. "And I'm glad to be back for the holidays. How are you doing?"

Emmet smiled broadly, and I couldn't help but smile back- his smile was absolutely infectious. "I don't know if your dad told you already, but Rosalie and I are getting married." My mouth dropped open, and Emmet laughed. "I know, it's a little crazy." He said sheepishly.

"No, it's great. Congratulations!" I said, giving him a quick hug. Rosalie Hale was a year older than me, and had been in some of my classes in high school before she had graduated. We had never been close friends, but she was funny and beautiful and sarcastic, and had been easily the most popular girl in school. Emmet was a couple years older than Edward, so I knew there was a five year or so age gap between them.

But unlike Edward and I, apparently, Emmet and Rosalie had actually been able to make their relationship last, and they were happy and engaged to be married. I, on the other hand, was making myself and probably Edward miserable because of my own selfish whims.

"The wedding is actually going to be on Christmas Eve." Emmet informed me, and I raised my eyebrows. "I know, only four days to go…but your dad has an invitation, and it has your name on it too. We'd love it if you could come."

"Yeah, sure, I'll be there." I said quickly, with a little idea about why Emmet and Rosalie were getting married so quickly. But, of course, I wouldn't say anything to anyone else except for the two of them about it. "Is there any reason you guys are getting married so soon?" I hinted, smiling knowingly at Emmet.

His face colored slightly but he grinned, giving me a thumbs up and winking. "Well, you'll just have to wait for a few months and see for yourself." He laughed, and so did I.

Charlie emerged from his office just then, and Emmet and I both glanced over at him. "Oh, well I guess it's time for me to go." I said. "Congratulations again, and I'll see you and Rosalie both at the wedding."

"Thanks, Bella. We'll see you there." Emmet said, and then turned to face my dad. "You'll be there too, right Chief?" He asked, and my dad cracked a smile.

"Of course." He said, and then glanced back towards me. "Alright, Bella, let's get you home now." He said, and we both said our goodbyes to Emmet and headed back outside to the car.

I shivered in the frigid air and pulled my coat tighter around me. "Why didn't you tell me before that Emmet and Rosalie were getting married?" I questioned Charlie as we both got into the car and waited impatiently for the heater to start up.

Charlie rolled his eyes, the corners of his mouth turning up in a smile. "Emmet and Rosalie have been engaged for a month." He informed me. "We all know why they're getting married…and besides, I didn't even think that you would want to go."

I glanced at him, confused. "Why won't I want to go? Emmet and I aren't best friends or anything, but we still talk. And Rosalie and I went to school together."

"Edward is Emmet's best friend." Charlie pointed out stiffly. "He's the best man…I didn't think you'd want to go, that's all."

"Oh." I murmured, seeing his point. I really didn't know what I would do around Edward. "But…but I already told Emmet I would be there. And Rosalie…" I trailed off, and my dad shot me a sympathetic glance.

"You don't have to go." He reiterated, but I shrugged it off.

I knew that there was no true obligation for me to go, but still…I felt like I should. "I should go." I finally said, just as my dad pulled the car into our driveway. "And knowing Rosalie, it'll be a big huge party and I won't have to talk to Edward." I said decisively, glancing at Charlie.

He shrugged, and we both got out of the car and he got my two bags out of the trunk for me. "I've got to work tomorrow and the day after that, but then I'm off." He informed me as we walked up to the house together. "So you can do whatever on your own, and then you and I can have some bonding time."

"Sounds good." I said easily, glancing around the house as we walked inside. It was warm and cozy and painstakingly familiar and I had missed it so much. "But I think I'm going to go take a little nap before dinner." I said, picking up my bags and turning towards the stairs. "I'll make dinner when I wake up, okay?"

"Wait, Bella." My dad said, and I halted halfway up the stairs and turned around to face him. "I don't want you getting hurt, okay? So please…try and stay away from Edward. I know that you're an adult know and I can't make you do anything, but just be smart."

"Okay." I muttered softly, my heart aching at the near mention of Edward's name. "I will."

…

**Ah. I'm tired. And I've been sitting in the same position for so long that my butt is asleep…**

**I have work tomorrow, but I might be able to fit in another for this story in the morning. If not, I'll try my best to have one ready by Wednesday. I hope everyone had a good weekend, and have a good Columbus day as well!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	11. Chapter 11

**I barely got this done in time for today- I hate it when you anticipate an easy week and later realize there's no such thing! Thank you for all of the reviews, and I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Has anyone heard the new Taylor Swift song "Back to December"? Well, I'm going to be tying the idea of that song into the story soon...just a little spoiler!**

**Have a great rest of the week, and hopefully I'll be updating within the next week or so…I'll be gone over the weekend, but I don't think I have to work on Friday. We'll see, if my boss ever decides to call me back! **

**I didn't want to ruin the end of this chapter, so I didn't end up posting a teaser on my blog. But most of the time, little teasers are up on my blog before the chapter goes up. So go to 22lovelovelove22 at blogspot dot com and check it out!**

**I also have a twitter…it's under lovelovelove22. You may follow me, if you wish.**

…

BPOV- December 22, 2010, Forks Washington:

I woke up in the morning and breathed in the cold, crisp winter air. After lounging around in bed for a few minutes, I rolled out of bed and was immediately assaulted by the freezing cold air. Of course, my dad was too cheap to turn the heat up at night. My teeth chattered as I quickly got dressed, pulling on my skinny jeans, a v-neck purple sweater, and grabbing my hat, coat, scarf, and gloves as well.

Charlie was already sitting at the kitchen table as I walked in, sipping his coffee and diligently reading the local newspaper.

"Hey, dad." I said, draping my outerwear over one of the kitchen chairs and then walking over to the counter to pour myself a cup of coffee.

He glanced up at me, looking surprising. "Morning, Bells. I didn't expect you to be up so early. It is vacation, after all, and it's not even eight o'clock yet."

I shrugged, dumping cream and sugar into my cup of coffee before sitting down at the table from my dad. "It's just kind of my routine." I said with a shrug, taking a big sip of my warm coffee and smiling dreamily as the warmth spread throughout my body. "What time are you going into the station?" I asked, and Charlie glanced up at the clock on the microwave.

"In just a couple of minutes." He sighed, setting the paper down reluctantly. "What's on your agenda for today?"

"Oh, this and that." I said, shrugging again and reaching over to grab the paper. I skimmed over the front page, disinterested. "I was going to go to the bookstore, and I'm guessing you haven't gotten a present for Rosalie and Emmet yet, so I figured I would get that done today, too."

Charlie smiled at me, coming over and kissing the top of my head. "You know me well, kid. Thanks. And have a good day, okay? I should be back for dinner."

"I'll cook." I volunteered quickly. "I haven't cooked a real meal in ages!" I said, and smiled up at Charlie. "Be safe, daddy." I added softly, immediately feeling a little girl again. "I love you." Charlie smiled, looking bittersweet, and kissed the top of my head again before telling me that he loved me too, and to make whatever I felt like for dinner.

He left then, and the house was cold and quiet and felt way too empty. I quickly finished off the rest of my coffee and rinsed my cup out, putting it in the sink before shrugging on my winter coat and knit cap.

After grabbing my shoulder bag, I hurried out of the house, locking the door behind me. I put on my gloves and scarf as I walked down the street towards the center of town, taking in the simple sights that I had missed so much over the past month.

It was definitely cold outside, but I didn't mind it too much. One thing I loved about living in a small town was that everything was so close- even if it was bone chillingly cold, it wasn't _that _much of a hassle to walk to one of the few stores in town.

In New York, it was a nightmare to walk around when it was cold or raining or snowy. But here, it was actually peaceful.

I stopped by the bookstore first, taking comfort in the familiarity of the shelves and the cozy environment. I said hi to the owner, who had known me since I was a baby, and browsed for a few minutes before making several purchases.

Next I aimlessly browsed around the antique shop next door, having no idea what to buy for Emmet and Rosalie and having no idea where to even start, either. So I walked several more blocks, coming to a stop in front of the small house I knew was Emmet's. I couldn't be sure, but I was guessing that Emmet and Rosalie were living together.

I was right- Rosalie opened the door seconds after I knocked; a gentle smile on her beautiful face. "Bella, hi!" She said cheerfully, ushering me inside away from the biting wind and cold air. "This is a surprise…but it's great to see you." She said, giving me a quick hug.

"I just got back in town last night…and I hear congratulations are in order." I said, and Rosalie grinned, her face lighting up.

"Thank you." She said, and then held out her left hand so that I could see her ring. "It's not big or spectacular or anything…but it's Emmet. And it's perfect."

The ring really was beautiful. It was a thin gold band with a heart shaped diamond in the middle. It may have been simple and nothing spectacular, but it still suited Emmet and Rosalie perfectly.

"It's really beautiful." I assured her, and she smiled even wider. "But…I have an agenda behind coming to see you." I confessed honestly, and Rosalie laughed.

"That's perfectly fine." She said, and I laughed along with her. "What's up?"

"I have no idea what to get you and Emmet for a wedding present." I admitted, shrugging pathetically. "And I'd rather get you something that you actually want than just something that will just take up space…" I gestured around the front room of the house, which was crowded with boxes.

Rosalie blushed slightly, looking around as well, but then her gaze snapped back to me. "Honestly, the best thing you could give us would be cash." She admitted, twisting her engagement ring around on her finger. "We're just getting started out, you know…Emmet doesn't make a lot of money as a firefighter and I'm not making all that much either…so yeah. Money, or even gift cards, would be great. Sorry if that's tacky."

"It's not." I assured her. "I just wanted to be sure to get you something you actually needed. And this way, you'll be sure to be able to get things that you actually _want, _too. I didn't say anything about needing money for their baby, either, because I didn't want to insult Rosalie and I didn't even know if Emmet was supposed to have told me in the first place. "I'm going to head out again, but congratulations again, Rose." I said. "You and Emmet are great for each other."

"We think so too." Rosalie said happily, and then hugged me again. "Thanks for stopping by, and we'll see you at the wedding." She said, and then paused. "Well, actually, would you be willing to help me celebrate my last night of being single, as well?" She asked, grinning deviously. "My bachelorette party is tonight…it'll be a lot of fun, and you should definitely come."

"Oh, sure." I said easily. "That sounds great…"

Rosalie filled me in on the time of the party, and then we said goodbye again before I walked back out into the cold. Not sure of what else I wanted to do with my day, I headed back into the center of town and into the diner for another cup of coffee.

As I walked up to the counter, I froze, coming face to face with Edward.

Neither of us moved or spoke; we just stared. His green eyes searched my brown ones, full of confusion and pain and anger and emotions that were simply unreadable.

I struggled to find my words, and once I finally did, I realized I had no idea what to say. "Hi." I finally managed, and Edward didn't speak. He just pushed past me and walked out the door, and I remained frozen in place.

…

**Ooh. Burn!**

**So that was their reunion…it was a little harsh, but what did you really expect? There will be a lot more interaction between Edward and Bella in the next chapter, which will also contain Emmet and Rosalie's wedding. **

**Please review, and let me know if there is anything you'd like to see happen between Edward and Bella…I'm taking suggestions.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	12. Chapter 12

**I wanted to update sometime during last week, but obviously that didn't happen. I apologize, and my peace offering is this chapter, which is really just an outtake of Rosalie's party. I am **_**so **_**close to being done with the next chapter, but I wanted to add this one too so that I could add in some fun stuff, so that it's not just a big downer in the next chapter. I hope you all enjoy it, and please do not forget to leave a review if you have the time!**

**Alrighty, here we go…**

…

BPOV- December 22, 2010, Forks Washington:

I didn't know a lot of the other girls that were at Rosalie's bachelorette party later that night. There was one girl there that had been my grade in school- Britney, but we had never been close so I hardly knew her. There were also some women there that I had never seen before, and some that I knew only by association.

"Come on, Bella!" Rosalie flashed her mega-watt smile at me, reaching up to adjust the plastic crown, with a veil attached, perched on top of her head. Even though Rosalie wasn't drinking, that didn't mean she wasn't condoning it to others. "We're going to play 'Never Have I Ever'," she said with a wicked grin, handing me a shot glass as I sat down around the table with the others.

"Okay, for those of you that don't know how to play, here are the rules." Emily, Rosalie's maid of honor, spoke up, holding a bottle of vodka. "First, everyone make sure your first shot is full," she instructed, passing the bottle around the circle. "Now, when it's your turn, you have to make a true statement starting with 'Never have I ever'. For example, 'Never have I ever stole balloons from a car dealership'." Emily quickly took her first shot, grimacing and chasing it with cranberry juice. "And any player who has done that activity has to take a shot. So…anyone who has stolen balloons from a car dealership would have to drink." Emily glanced over at Rosalie, raising her eyebrows.

"I don't want to have a hangover tomorrow," Rosalie said primly, even though most of us knew that wasn't quite the truth.

"Well, little Miss Priss, you can go first then." Emily rolled her eyes, handing Rosalie a shot glass filled with just cranberry juice."

Rosalie laughed, accepting the glass and then deliberating for a moment. "Okay…Never Have I Ever…woken up with my underwear missing."

My cheeks instantly flushed red, but five of the ten women present, including Rosalie, took their shots, laughing and hissing as the alcohol burned their throats. The night went on very much the same, with statements like "Never Have I Ever cheated on a boyfriend, masturbated at work, used a vibrator…" I only took one shot, and it was for my own statement, "Never Have I Ever cheated on a test", which even _I _knew was lame.

We played the game well into the night, although everyone eventually traded the vodka for cranberry juice. And then when everyone was leaving, Rosalie gripped my arm and held me back. "Bella, why don't you stay for just a little longer?" she asked, waving at the girls that were departing. "We can catch up a bit, and then I could walk you home."

"Um, okay." I shrugged, taking my coat back off and hanging it up again in the closet.

Rosalie smiled at me, closing the door as the last of her guests left. "Thanks a lot for coming," she said, picking up the empty vodka bottle of the coffee table. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, it was great," I answered truthfully, helping her pick up some of the mess left by in the living room. "Thanks a lot for inviting me." Rosalie smiled sweetly at me again, a silent "you're welcome".

"I don't know if this will sound rude or not, but I really don't care…how are you not plastered right now?" Rosalie asked, laughing.

I blushed, throwing some paper plates into the trash. "I guess I'm just not as…um, experienced as the right of you," I said with a shrug, and Rosalie stared at me in confusion. "I haven't done stuff like that before, and I've never had a real boyfriend." Edward flitted through my mind for a brief moment, and I started feeling guilty all over again.

"Oh." Rosalie's expression shifted. "Emmet kind of told me about what happened with you and Edward. I'm sorry, I know that must have been rough, especially with your school and ballet and all of that."

"Yeah," I said, not elaborating. And then I realized that Rosalie had been in very much the same situation I had been in, and maybe she could offer me some insight. "Rosalie…does Emmet being a fireman scare you?" I asked quickly, and Rosalie furrowed her eyebrows.

"Well…yeah," Rosalie muttered honestly. "He risks he life every time he does his job. But he loves it, and he's a hero. And I love him, and being a fireman is part of who Emmet is," she explained, brushing her side bangs out of her eyes. "I'm always scared during his shifts, especially now." Rosalie ran her hand over her stomach, chewing on her bottom lip. "But I know it'll be okay."

I nodded, and we both just leaned against the counters, basking in our silence.

"Bella?" Rosalie breached the silence, glancing at me. "You really didn't sleep with Edward?" She asked hesitantly.

"No." I said immediately, looking down at the floor and crossing my arms over my chest. "Even if our relationship had moved further, I don't think I would have done that with him." Rosalie furrowed her brow further, obviously asking me for a little clarification. "I'm not religious or anything, not at all, but I don't believe in sex before marriage," I explained, and I could feel the blush spreading across my face. "I just think that sex should be between the person who you've exchanged vows with and the person that you are bound to into marriage. Like I said, it's not a religious belief…more of a romantic one," I finished softly, staring intently at the floor. "I want the man I marry someday to be the only man that knows me so intimately."

"Wow." Rosalie's voice was soft and gentle, not at all judgmental. "That's not really what I was expecting…but I kind of get it," she agreed, and I glanced up at her. "I know I definitely had sex before marriage." Again, she rubbed her hand across her stomach, smiling wryly. "But Emmet is the only person I've ever been with, and we both like that. I wasn't his first, but I was his first _love_, so that makes me feel just as good." Rosalie gazed at me, her clear blue eyes searching mine. "I know Edward really cared about you, Bella. In fact, I know that he still does. He's really broken up about what happened…but he's trying."

"I don't really want to talk about him," I murmured softly, and Rosalie smiled at me.

"Okay."

…

**Some of the information in this chapter is important in later chapters, and I figured that this was the best way to incorporate it into the story. So…keep all that stuff in mind, because it will come in handy later when we have more of a HEA between Edward and Bella. **

**I hoped you liked the outtake…I'm updating the for real chapter either tomorrow or Tuesday!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm glad you enjoyed that little outtake, and now here is the new chapter. I know it's still a little rough, but there's an HEA coming (I can't say it enough!) and I think that you will all be very happy with it.**

**As of right now, I don't when the next EPOV chapter will be…but as always, my outline is very vague. It could be next chapter, or it could be four chapters after that. I'm just not sure at the moment!**

**Yes, I'm glad Rosalie isn't a bitch in this story as well! She's going to be a good person, I promise. And of course, there is going to be a nice chat between Edward and Bella during this chapter, and they're going to hash some things out now.**

…

BPOV- December 24, 2010, Forks Washington:

I should have expected him to be standing there at the front of the church with his best friend, but the sight of him still took me by surprise and still took my breath away. Charlie and I slid into one of the aisles and I felt my cheeks burn red as I briefly made eye contact with Edward.

He didn't look so angry anymore- instead he looked a little sad and extremely formal. I watched him through the corner of my eye, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Isabella, scoot over," Charlie whispered, nudging me. I shuffled over quickly, startled, to make room for other people wanting to sit down. The small church, which was actually the only church in town, was already packed to the rafters with friends and family and the like. Emmet and Edward were already at the front of the church with the reverend, and there was soft piano music playing in the background.

Charlie suddenly sighed and flipped through the little booklet we had been getting, his brown eyes scanning over it quickly. I ripped my eyes away from Edward, a little embarrassed as I realized Charlie had seen me staring at Edward.

Several more people filed into the church, squeezing into the few empty spots in the pews, and then the music changed and an excited silence came over the congregation as the flower girl and bridesmaid's made their way down the aisle, followed shortly by Emily as the maid of honor. The music changed yet again, this time to the wedding march, and Rosalie appeared at the other end of the aisle- an angel swathed elegantly in white, floating down the aisle on the arm of her smiling father.

I peeked over at Emmet, and my smile grew when I saw the look on his face, so sure and happy and enchanted. This was perfect for them, and they were perfect for each other.

Rosalie reached Emmet and her father gave her away, tears in his eyes as he kissed her rosy cheek. Charlie's warm hand found mine and he squeezed gently, and then let go. I tried to keep my eyes trained on Emmet and Rosalie, but my eyes briefly drifted to Edward on their own accord. He had the same solemn look on his face, but his eyes were bright and I could tell that he was happy for his best friend.

His eyes suddenly met mine, and I froze, my lips still curved up in a small smile. I didn't blink and I didn't look away, and Edward eventually smiled back, the solemn look melting away.

My heart took off racing again and I looked away, but didn't stop smiling.

The ceremony was mercifully short, and it wasn't long before Emmet and Rosalie were pronounced husband and wife, and Emmet kissed the bride. The members of the congregation filed out of the church after Rosalie and Emmet, chatting loudly about how beautiful the bride was, how handsome the groom was, and how sweet the ceremony had been.

Charlie stuck close to my side as everyone made their way from the sanctuary into the adjoining hall where the reception was being help. Emmet and Rosalie and the rest of the wedding party had disappeared for pictures, but the rest of the party was in full swing almost immediately. Charlie and I quickly found our seats, surrounded by people we had known for years. Some of the guys from the station where sitting with us, along with their girlfriends or wives. The pairing off/coupling around us made me feel uncomfortable, because all of these women got to spend tonight with their boyfriends while I was here with my dear old dad.

By the time the dinner course was served, Rosalie and Emmet had returned, both their lips looking a little red and swollen, followed by Edward and Emily and the other members of their small wedding party. Everyone cheered for Rosalie and Emmet and they kissed again, huge grins on their faces.

As time passed, I found myself sitting by myself at the table, watching sullenly as the other guests danced with their friends and significant others, looking so happy. It was just another reminder of the choices I had made.

"Lonely?" My head shot up and I came face to face with Edward, who was standing awkwardly in front of me with his tie loosened and his hands in his pockets. His hair had grown out a bit since I had last seen him, and it suited him. He still looked the same, though, and that made it sting even more to know that he was still his beautiful self.

"Hey," I said, licking my lips and turning around in my chair to face him better. I was half afraid that he would bolt again like he had in the diner, even though this time he had been the one to initiate conversation.

"Hi," he responded, and glanced down at the empty chair next to me. "Um…how are you? How've you been?"

I bit my bottom lip, hoping that this meant things wouldn't be completely uncomfortable and unbearable anymore. "I'm…well, I've been pretty good. School is a little crazy and I'm already starting to feel burnt out, but I guess it will be okay. What about you?" I spoke quickly, my cheeks red and my words blurring together slightly.

"Can't complain," he said with a little shrug of his shoulders, and then looked down at the chair again. "Do you, uh, do you mind if I sit down?"

"No, go ahead," I murmured, and he sat down slowly, an uncomfortable but polite smile on his face. "

"I'm glad you came." Edward spoke quietly, his eyes not quite meeting mine. "I know…um, I know we left things a little rough and I kind of wanted to talk."

I nodded affirmatively, sitting up straighter. "Yeah, I really want to talk to you," I admitted, and Edward nodded back. "My dad is around her somewhere…" I said, glancing around. "Do you think we could find someplace else to talk?"

"Yeah." Edward stood, and then offered me his hand. "I've got someplace in mind."

…

The stars twinkled in the cold night sky, frozen in place for us to admire. Edward wordlessly put his suit jacket around my shoulders, looking up towards the sky.

"When I was a kid and my dad would come home really late from the hospital, sometimes he would take me out to the backyard and we would look up at the stars together," Edward said suddenly, not looking me in the eye. We both sat down on the rickety porch swing outside of the church, far apart enough from each other so that we weren't touching. "He stopped doing that with me when he got remarried," Edward added, his voice softer. "My mom…she died when I was a baby."

"I'm sorry," I muttered quietly, even though I had already known and even though that might not have been the right thing to say.

"After she died and I started school, my dad started dating a lot. I think he was…just trying to move on. There were a lot of women. He didn't let many of them into my life, but some of them managed to worm their way into our lives. There was one woman named Natalie and she was the worst…she was really controlling and I remember her being jealous of the time that my dad spent with me. I was ten, and she always got mad because my dad was really busy at the hospital and he made more time for me than he did for her."

I listened in silence, wondering where this heartfelt story would lead to.

"He broke up with her after she threw a big tantrum and called me a brat," Edward said, chuckling quietly. "He kept dating after that, but he kept the women away from me. Until he met Esme." I could hear the smile in his voice and I turned around to face him just so I could see it. "She was a lot different. They got married when I was fifteen, and they've been madly in love ever since. I saw my dad go through a bunch of different women…and when he met Esme, he just _knew_ she was the one. I always thought that I would be the same way; that I would just know."

Edward paused, sighing deeply and then finally looked me in the eye. "Bella, I'm sorry for bringing that part of me into our relationship. I thought…I thought you were the one and I should have respected that our relationship was new and that you weren't really looking for the same thing that I was." Edward hesitated again, quickly wetting his lips with his tongue. "You might have said you wanted a relationship, but I still feel like I might have pushed you too hard…so I'm sorry."

"You really have nothing to apologize for," I whispered, tears pooling in my eyes. "It wasn't your fault, either, and I think we both just…overreacted and understood things differently. It was so sweet of you to visit me on my birthday…I'm sorry for the way I treated you. Things are just so…so hard. I feel so stressed and busy and exasperated and I acted too quickly when I said we should cool off. And then I completely freaked out and kind of lost it. I didn't deserve your patience and sweetness."

Edward closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them and looked down at me, unreadable emotions all over his face. "No, Sunshine. I don't deserve _you_."

…

**I really went through and tried to make this less said. We definitely haven't reached the HEA yet, but at least their friends (kind of?) again, and that's a step in the right direction! **

**Would you be so kind to review this chapter, pretty please?**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	14. Chapter 14

**This chapter is kind of a turning point…we are much closer to the HEA but there is still a lot of work to be done before it is achieved, if that makes any sense at all. It's late and I should probably be getting some sleep but I for real wanted to get this chapter done because things finally start looking up a little bit after this.**

**Oh, I hope everyone had a nice Halloween yesterday…Jensen and I took Blakely trick or treating but it got really old after like ten minutes because she fell asleep. So we put a do not disturb sign on the door of our apartment and watched seasons 1, 2, and 9 of **_**Friends **_**while eating the candy that we had originally planned to hand out to trick or treating children. But hey…plans change.**

**Enjoy the chapter…we have 192 reviews at the moment so I really hope there are 200 for this chapter! Thanks guys!**

…

BPOV- December 24, 2010, Forks Washington:

"I don't think you've got that right." I shook my head, looking up at the dark night sky above us. "It's not that you don't deserve me or I don't deserve you…that honestly has nothing to do with anything. It's that we're different. You…you're happy with your life here. You have a heroic job you love and your family is nearby and you're just…here. And I'm not. I'm going to school in New York and even after I'm done with that, I definitely don't want that to be the end of my career in ballet. If I stick around here, I wouldn't have a lot of options or chances to do what I really love. I'm sorry, but after I've gotten this far, I don't think I can give it up-"

"I'm not asking you to," Edward interjected quickly. "I know you love dancing and I would never ask you to stop…we were being unrealistic. I was looking for too much and you were conflicted. I loved spending time with you; I loved being with you…but it wasn't right. I get it."

I bit my lip, hating how that sounded. "You have _no _idea how much I regret not being able to be with you," I whispered softly, glancing over and Edward and hesitantly placing my hand on his knee. "If I could…" I trailed off, faltering. "I still want to be with you. Even after all of this _crap_ I've done to you and put you through, that has never really changed. School and ballet and my emotions got in the way and I let them take control, and I hate that. If…if things had just been a little different, we could have been amazing."

Edward just nodded again, his eyes focused on the stars glimmering above our heads.

"I won't be back in Forks until summertime." I had decided this not long ago, and wanted to stick to it. I needed to try and be the best I could without any distractions. I didn't want to admit it, but Edward was a distraction. He was beautiful and sweet and so kind and even though I'd had so many awful doubts in the pass, I just wanted to forget everything and kiss him…love him.

"Why?" Edward asked, his vivid green eyes focusing on me now instead of on the stars.

"Because I need to do this," I said firmly, staring straight ahead. "I had a lot of trouble in school these past few months…the stress and competition are unbelievable, and I really need to buckle down. If I were to come back here…see you…I would lose my focus. Because when I'm around you, you're all I can think about."

"Bella," Edward shook his head, his face pinched. "I need a straight answer from you. What do you want? What are you really looking for?"

I stared into his eyes for a long moment, getting lost in the beautiful green and flecks of deep gold. "What I want is to be happy."

"Then kiss me," Edward breathed, and I didn't hesitate, because he was right. Kissing him did make me happy. Being with him _did _make me happy. His soft lips met mine sweetly, and I exhaled in relief, my hands moving up to clutch his hair. His lips molded to mine, because I knew that we were really meant for each other. I could feel it; my heart was so connected to his that it was nearly tangible.

The kiss ended far too quickly…Edward pulled away, a soft, apologetic smile on his face. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't push you like that," he said, but I really wasn't sorry for that kiss and I told him so. "This isn't fair of me to say to you…but I care for you so much, Bella. I want you to be happy, and I'll do anything to make sure you are."

"I know that." I stroked his soft hair, smiling tenderly at him. "That's one of the things I love about you…how much you care for me. But I can't ask you to put your life on hold and wait for me, because that wouldn't be right or fair for either of us." I paused, deliberating between what I _should _say and what I _wanted _to say. Finally, I just said what was true. "I told you we could be in a relationship when I turned eighteen, and I shouldn't have promised you that," I said quickly.

Edward made a little face, but I ignored that.

"But when I come back to Forks this summer…and if you haven't met someone else…" I hesitated again, hoping what I was about to say didn't come off the wrong way. "I think we could try again. We'll have four months to figure things out, to see if we really want to be together and if we really want to try a long distance relationship. I know you've heard this from me before…promises for the future. But I'm serious. We can try over the summer and see where it leads..." I trailed off, feeling ridiculous for my suggestion.

He was silent for a long moment, and I could tell he was staring at me even though I refused to look at him. My cheeks were burning bright red; I couldn't believe the things I had just said to Edward, especially after what had happened in September. But suddenly, Edward's velvet voice broke the silence.

"Okay," Edward said, and I turned my head and looked at him in surprise.

"Really?" I asked, my voice cracking slightly.

Edward nodded, his expression solemn. "Really. Bella, I know our relationship was tough on you…I don't know what we were thinking, trying to start up a brand new, long distance relationship while you were starting your first year of college. Maybe you're right…maybe we can really figure this out."

"I hope so," I said honestly. "I truly am sorry for what I did, leading you on like that and then ending things so suddenly. But I want you to know that I'm not going to run away again. I'm here."

…

With one last kiss and promises to text and call and email each other before we were reunited five long months from now, Edward and I went our separate ways. He went to go rejoin the rest of the wedding party, and he would be leaving to spend Christmas and New Years with his father and stepmother in Port Angeles while I went back inside and would be spending the rest of my winter break with my dad before returning to New York to throw myself back into school and ballet.

It was a little grim, thinking about it, but I tried to have optimism. This wasn't impossible…it wouldn't be for us if I actually made a true effort this time without freaking out.

When I went back into the reception and rejoined Charlie, I knew that Edward and I hadn't fooled him…he knew that we had been together. But really, there was no reason in hiding it, not at all. A big part of actually trying in this relationship was not being ashamed about it, and that meant no lying to Charlie.

As I had expected, the wedding reception for Rosalie and Emmet was crowded, loud, and lasted well into the night. Charlie and I left around 10 o'clock, the silence hanging heavy around us during the short ride home.

My dad parked the car in front of the house, but inside of getting out he paused and turned to look at me. "You and Edward need to be careful, Bella," he said seriously. "I'm not going to tell you not to be with him, but just be smart about it. Please."

"I know."

"Really. I love you, and I respect Edward. I don't want either of you getting hurt…" Charlie trailed off, and then patted my hand. "Just…don't end up like Rosalie, okay?"

"Dear lord, Dad, what's that supposed to mean?" I snapped, immediately getting defensive.

Charlie put his hands up like an apprehended criminal, his expression guilty. "All I'm saying is that she's only a year older than you are, and she's pregnant, stuck in this town, and married to a man that does dangerous work without getting paid very much to do it. What if something were to happen to Emmet? Where would Rosalie be then?"

"Dad, don't compare me to Rosalie, and don't say stuff like that. I know being a fireman is dangerous...you and Edward and Emmet are all in danger on the job. But I also know you guys look out for each other, and that means you look out for each other's families, too. You know as well as I do that if something were to happen to Emmet, Rosalie would be far from alone," I pointed out, nervously playing with the hem of my dress. "I know you're against me marrying a fireman because of what happened between you and Mom…but I'm not Mom. I'm not like her. Your life might have been too much for her to handle, but _I _can handle it just fine."

…

**Just to be clear, Charlie is honestly just concerned for Bella. He's not going to be much of an obstacle, but he will be a protective father- just letting you know for future reference.**

**Questions? Don't hesitate to ask…I probably won't have the time to reply via PM but I'll for sure put answers in the next A/N.**

**Like I said…please review and give me some of your thoughts!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	15. Chapter 15

**So. My laptop is still in with the geek squad. I **_**finally**_** got the chance to update a story, but I have no idea when I'll be able to next! When I am, I'll be updating "Such Difference" because that only has two chapters left and I would really like to get it all finished up!**

**We are sooo close to Edward/Bella being together. I can almost taste it. From here, the time is going to move forward a little faster and then slow a bit again. We'll see how that goes.**

**Thanks for all the reviews last chapter…you guys are just plain swell.**

**Hmm. The Eclipse DVD comes out tomorrow, does it not? Are you going to go and buy it? Or are you holding out for Christmas?**

…

BPOV- January 9, 2010, New York City:

I had left the sharp, quiet cold of Forks for the dirty, loud winter of New York City. My last few days in Forks had been spent lazily. I took several walks around town, visited with some old friends that had also been home for Christmas, and spent some quality time with my dad on the few days that he had off.

The only bad thing was that I hadn't seen Edward again after the wedding…after we kissed like that. Honestly, I had been hoping to see him around town on one of my walks or maybe even at the diner again, but he was nowhere to be seen. Finally, after my fruitless, pathetic search, I had to come to the conclusion that he was spending the rest of the holiday with his father and stepmother in Port Angeles.

There were so many questions I had about Edward…the more I found out about him, the more I wanted to know. He could be so quiet, so closed off, at times.

But really, I shouldn't have been focusing on him. I couldn't even call him mine anymore, so I needed to focus on other things. And that mean finally getting my head back into school and dancing. I was a little ashamed of my performance in the past.

I had not been focused, and that had been obvious to my instructors. My grades hadn't been good and I needed to improve a lot, unless I would be in danger of losing my scholarship or even going on probation.

Today, my mom and I were meeting up for our usual Sunday lunch together. And as usual, she was running late.

I sat in a booth in the back at the Prime Burger, messing with my cell phone as I waited. I was glad that I was close to my mom now, but I was already missing the steady, predictable calmness I had grown accustomed to while staying with Charlie.

Still waiting, I nervously sent a text message to Edward.

_How've you been? I miss you. –B_

Just then, I glanced up and saw my mom walking into the small restaurant, looking around for me. I waved at her, smiling as she hurried towards me.

"Bella!" She sat down next to me, leaning over the table and kissing my cheek. "Are you excited to go back to school tomorrow?" She asked, picking up her menu and glancing it over quickly.

I shrugged, taking a sip of my Diet Coke. "Yeah, I guess. I was really glad to have time off, though. I was getting pretty stressed out."

My mom smiled sympathetically, one of those understanding smiles only a mother can give you, and I knew she was being completely genuine.

"You'll be fine, Bella. I know that no matter what you do, you'll turn out wonderfully. You are my daughter, after all," she said with a wink. I laughed, and then I was thankful because my mom quickly changed the subject. "Tell me a little more about your Forks vacation, Isabella. Did you have a nice time with your father?"

I was so happy my parents could be so casual about each other, even though I knew things were definitely _still _uncomfortable and tense between them. But my neither of my parents had ever stopped me from talking about the other. They had always listened to my stories about vacations and trips and fun times without harboring bad feelings.

"It was good. Rosalie Hale got married on Christmas Eve," I informed her, wondering if she would even remember Rosalie. Since we hadn't been all that close, I couldn't even remember if I had mentioned her to my mom before in more than passing.

"Oh, really?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. "Was she in the grade above you?"

"Yeah. She married Emmet McCarty…he works at the station with Dad and, um, Edward. Everyone figures that she's pregnant, even though they haven't come right out and said it."

My mom laughed softly, and we paused our conversation as the waiter took our order. Of course, my mom quickly picked it up again. "So, she's pregnant?"

"Probably," I said with a shrug, taking a quick peek at my phone again. Thankfully, Edward had just finished.

_I'm good, and I miss you too. I'm on call now, though, so… -E_

I made a little face, taking Edward's hint not to text him right now.

"Hmm." I could feel my mom staring at me, so I glanced up and met her eyes.

"What?"

"Honey, this is a little crass to be talking about this here, in the Prime Burger…but you and Edward were safe and everything right? I know you're an adult, but I want to make sure that you two were smart about that kind of stuff."

I blushed bright red, sputtering slightly in disbelief. "Oh my god, Mom! I cannot believe you just asked me that…" I trailed off, hiding my face in my hands. "For the record, we didn't _have _to be safe because we never _did_ anything. I was seventeen years old when we were actually together…and honestly, that all fell apart after a month. It never progressed to that kind of thing."

My mom, oblivious to my total humiliation, just patted my hand. "That's good to know, baby."

…

I had missed Alice and Angela and Tanya and everyone else at school, but once rehearsal and class started up again, I had absolutely no time to hang out with them. Edward and I were texting back and forth, and he had even called me a couple of times. It was definitely not as intense as it had been previously, but it still felt good just talking to him again. I really had missed him.

January quickly turned into February and I was still stressed out and feeling overworked. My weight had gone down, I was tired all the time, and I had caught a cold from my mom. And again, my schoolwork and dance performance was suffering.

Angela and Alice were the first to notice, but I brushed off their attempts to help me relax and calm down. I was wired and exhausted at the same time, which definitely wasn't a good combination.

At this point, I just wanted a break. I wanted a break from the rehearsals and the late night studying, and more than once I found myself miserably wondering why I was doing this in the first place. I had once been one of the best, and I now I was quickly falling to the bottom of the barrel. Sometimes, I just wanted to give up and quit; go home to Forks.

I knew that if I went back, it could all be very simple. I could date Edward for a few more years, go to community college, get a job at the school (one of the few jobs that were actually available in Forks these days), get married, and start a family. It could be that simple.

But did I want that for myself? I was eighteen years old…I just couldn't see myself living like that. I loved New York City, and I loved dancing ballet. Was I willing to give all of that up for a simple, undisturbed and seemingly untroubled life in Forks with Edward?

I would be so happy with Edward, but there would be another big hole missing out of my life if I couldn't have my dancing, too.

Could there actually find a happy middle, or was it really one way or the other?

Live in Forks with Edward and give up dancing professionally…or live out my dream to the fullest and miss out on what could possibly be true love? I didn't know if what I felt for Edward could really be defined as true love, but the elements, the puzzle pieces, were all there.

But I also didn't know if I would ever be able to find a truly happy medium between the two things I was passionate about.

…

**That one was a little short again…but man, it took a long time to get finished! I guess I'm just sooo anxious to skip ahead to the summer…which yes, will be coming soon. I can't be sure, but it'll be sometime in the next few chapters. It could even be in the very next one, but I can't make any promises. Sometimes things just get in the way.**

**I want to try and update again over the weekend, if I can. We'll see. If I gain access to a computer again, I'm going to update "Such Difference". But another update for this is next on my list…and then "Eye of the Beholder", and then "Picture Perfect".**

**Please review, as always!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


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